A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend of one year has a terrible temper. He feels very bad about it, knows it is wrong, says it makes him a "shit" person and will try to get better. Soon afterwards he is very very remorseful but I am worried that I will never know in the future how he will react. It is not just his temper I am worried about as I feel uncertain that his behaviour in other ways may change. When he goes into one of his explosions it is as if all reason is gone completley and I just watch in amazement at the way he reacts - it is always only verbally. I put a lot of pressure on him as I always want more from him - he tries his best to do as much as he can for me but I am very demanding. We used to be so very happy but we seem to be losing that happiness. We love each other very deeply and I cannot imagine being without him but I have so many eservations about the future with him. Should we continue together?
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female
reader, xxxsoulsistaxxx +, writes (30 November 2006):
 He definitely needs some help to get this under control, as things like this only get worse. He's obviously not choosing to act this way, it's out of his control and he needs to get that control back before he hurts someone. Lot's of people have anger problems, it's nothing for him to be ashamed of. Make sure he gets the help then decide whether or not you want to spend your life with the 'new' person he becomes.
I think you need to take a look at yourself too. You say you're very demanding and that's not always a bad thing but for a person with problems like his and probably a lot of insecurities too, I think you need to give him some space and support him. I know you probably already do but just let him be himself for a while and try to take a step back, he sounds like it might not be helping his problem a great deal.
I think you both need to sort out your problems before you consider whether to spend your life with him. You obviously love him to be there after all this time and all these outbursts but someone who is not willing to try to change is really not worth sticking around for. You'll just get hurt. Make sure he takes these steps and then you'll see whether or not he is serious about changing or whether you're the only one who wants him to change.
I hope things work out for you too, good luck and remember, only he can change his ways, not you. Don't waste anymore time if he is not willing to accept he has a problem and sort it out.
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