A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend gets turned on by asphyxia and domination fantasies. I am aware that fantasies are harmless and did not worry unduly about this but he has recently incorporated putting plastic bags over my face when we are having sex. I know that he would like me to lose consciousness due to the bags but I can only deal with them for a few moments before I freak out and claw my way out of them, at which he seems quite disappointed. My boyfriend knows that I am uncomfortable with this fetish and has seen my cry due to it during sex. We have discussed the matter several times with him promising not to ask me to do it again and then breaking on his word each time. Though I previously had a very high sex drive I now dread the thought of my boyfriend touching me. This matter is seriously affecting an otherwise wonderful relationship and I was wondering if anyone else has a similar problem or any advice on how to deal with it.
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female
reader, dearkelja  +, writes (27 November 2008):
 Your boyfriend does not respect you. You have told him you do not want to do this anymore. Regardless of what sex act, if one partner says no, then the other partner needs to respect this. Here, your boyfriend has put his needs ahead of yours and I agree with the other posters, eventually, it will continue to escalate and since he doesn't care about your needs, it could well kill you in the end.
Please do not stay with this man who does not care about you. You will thank us here when you one day read about the woman he "accidently killed in the heat of passion whilst he was getting off" and you will be so thankful that it wasn't you. I only hope you will offer to speak at his trial to defend the poor woman who couldn't walk away.
This man needs some serious help.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your replies.
I will try talking to him again because, outside of the bedroom, this is a fantastic relationship and he makes me very happy. I don't want to lose him over some fetish.
I must admit I was a little worried I was over reacting so I am pleased to know that I have valid concerns about this matter.
Once again thank you for your answers.
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A
male
reader, baddogbj  +, writes (27 November 2008):
 Many fantasies are harmless but trying to get you to pass out by putting plastic bags over your head is not harmless. These kind of games only work if there is absolute trust and he has broken that trust.
Generally speaking men get more adventurous / perverted as we get older so if he is at this stage in his early 20s then I worry what it is that he's going to want to do to you or others in 15 or 20 years time.
If I were you I would tell him that this kind of breach of trust during sex is a deal breaker and if he can't stop then you are better off out of the relationship before it gets worse.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2008): One day he is going to do that and kill you accidently.it sounds like he is insane to me.my advice:dump him now
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