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My BF doesn't work and is immature, the new guy is a drug dealer. Who do I choose?

Tagged as: Teenage, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 June 2008) 15 Answers - (Newest, 9 July 2008)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

ok i got a problem...ive been with my boyfriend for 1 year and i love him to death, but he dont work he is kinda immatuire and we fight about stupid things...well i met this other guy he is so sweet to me he is all i think about he does everything he can to make me happy he is so sweet and loves to spend money on me...but he is a drug dealer and does them...how do i take him home to mom and dad? so my question is who should i be with? i need help if u have questions please ask!

View related questions: immature, money

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2008):

Hey there Hun.

It appears to me that you don't have a problem, because the answer is right there infront of your face. Being with a guy who doesn't make you happy isn't good to hold on to. so get it over with him and stop waisting your time. As for the sweet drug dealer, no way. Yeah he may spend his money on you and give you everything to make you so so happy, but the drugs are so bad. If you were with him, and he were to get busted, you would too for not saying anything. Or if something happens to him, you may feel guilty for letting him continue with the drugs instead of helping him.

You also have a HUGE chance of having experiments with them too just from peer pressure.

I know i dont know you, but your probably a wonderful young lady with a bright future. Please dont mess that up.

There is a right guy for you, i dont think either are worth your time in a relationship, but please just be smart and make the right choice.

Good Luck to you hun.

*SMJ*

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2008):

neither choose neither..cuz if ur in love wit ur bf and his boring then wat are u going to do for fun nothing.and if u go to the drug deeler theres a chance ur gonna become a drug dealer and ur going to do drugs to and end up fucking up ur life soo choose neither theres other ppl

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2008):

Possive and jealousy.... Ok, you can have him back...LOL

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2008):

Wow... It took me a long time to understand, Q1605 (name just cracks me up) I see what you mean...... I'm on to you Dear Cupid..... That was too easy, give us another one.

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A female reader, LIERIN United States +, writes (1 July 2008):

LIERIN agony auntOm .. is this a real add?

You dont have to choose! You just let them both go and find someone NORMAL !!!

First one is obviulsy still a child and needs to grow up and the other one is big time Looser!!!!

So .. om .. its a no-brainer!

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A male reader, ChiRaven United States +, writes (1 July 2008):

ChiRaven agony auntThis is what is known in the business world as a "no-brainer". Neither one of these guys deserves so much as a backward glance from you, so just turn around and keep walking. Soon you're going to find somebody that will be one heck of a lot better for you than either of these.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2008):

If he does drugs and deals them then no no no, No matter what those guys are usually the ones that will get you in them and will turn in to right assholes after the 2 months believe me. You could do some much better don't settle for some lazy bugger or some drug dealer in the end you'll regret being with either one of them.

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A male reader, no_issues United States +, writes (30 June 2008):

no_issues agony auntIn porn, we find that when a young woman is confronted by two equally unappealing men, if she ditches them both and goes for a short walk down the street, or sits in a lawn chair in her front yard, at least one other option -- and possible more than one, simultanously -- will become availble to her in about 15 seconds.

Porn also teaches you that all men have foot-long penises, which is apparently not always the case, so be careful.

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A male reader, Andy00 United Kingdom +, writes (30 June 2008):

Andy00 agony auntIt's clear that you find major faults with both guys. So why should you choose between the two? You have two low-life's in your life currently. Why not wait for a guy who shares the same qualities of BOTH guys, AND has a (legal) occupation?

Don't settle for the lazy clown or the criminal. Find somebody new. You've already got two guys after you, so you must have some good qualities. You just have to wait until those qualities attract a good guy. It will happen!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2008):

Option one: Keep unemployed bum and be broke forever

Option two: Start dating drug dealer and learn to hide from the police (no you can't take him home to mum and dad)

Option three: Dump bum, dump drug dealer and find someone better

If you can't see that option three is the right one, then you should probably stop dating anyone, because your to immature to understand what a healthy relationships looks like and what a good man should be.

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A female reader, lexilou United Kingdom +, writes (30 June 2008):

lexilou agony auntDo you really need to ask. Of course you cant take a drug dealer home to mum and dad, of course he's sweet, until he gets you hooked on whatever he is selling.

Dump the dealer and stop being so silly, tell the immature guy to get a job, if he doesnt then dump him too and go and find yourself a nice decent normal guy, please.

x

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A female reader, accused United States +, writes (30 June 2008):

accused agony auntSeems to me that you've got the wrong end of the stick no matter which one of them you go after. The bf that doesn't work, means you will be left to pay for everything (which is not right)! And is not a very dependable person to have in your life. The drug dealer bf that spends all the money on you, what happens when he goes to jail? AND PLEASE don't say he won't go to jail.... or he won't get caught. Because he will get caught & end up in jail... Tell me this How many OLD drug dealers do you see? My point! Let both of these bums go, and find yourself someone worthy of having and worthy of taking to see Mom & Dad.... You must know that neither of these two men are right for you, because if they were you wouldn't be asking for advice! Best of luck and keep me posted..

Accused

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A female reader, foreverlove1971 United States +, writes (30 June 2008):

Let me ask you this.Why would you want someone that means not good to you.You want a drug dealer that yes can give you happiness as to buying you things but on the other hand he is putting you in harms way by what he is doing.A bullet has no name on it and while you are out there getting gifts the police is watching him and the people he is with.So he is nooooooooooo good for you.As far as you bf is there a reason as to why he is not working?Unless he is under Dr.care and can't work then I understand.Now if this man is being lazy what can he bring to the table for you besides a headache.Let him go and rely on someone else .You don't need the drama in your life.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2008):

C)None of the above. Are you really so insecure that you that you /have/ to have a boyfriend? Is being single really worse than being with either of these losers? You don't expect much out of life for yourself, it seems. Pity.

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A female reader, BritneyL Canada +, writes (30 June 2008):

stay with the guy your with right now. he may not be working but at least hes not doing something that could put him in jail, and potentially put you in harm.

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