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female
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anonymous
writes: I have always been against serious relationships because I always seem to get hurt. Well about a year and a half ago I was introduced to this boy and of course I didn't want a serious relationship and he did. We struggled for about 6 months and I finally realized I loved him and I could spend the rest of my life with him and we were doing good.. I mean we would fight a lot but we would always get over it we had a good sex life and all, but then 2 weeks ago we broke up over something stupid. We used to always do that and get back together but not this time. My best friend was in Key West so I felt like I had no one to talk to. Then everything started to come when I talked to my friend’s boyfriend. He told me she had just broke it off before key west and I didn't think anything of it that. My boyfriend broke up with me and she broke up with her boyfriend...well my friend’s boyfriend comes over to talk to me about something and he said he figured it out and got it out of my friend...she had cheated on him with my boyfriend on our anniversary because my boyfriend told my friend he needed someone to talk to.I was crushed I felt like I lost the two things that meant the most I felt used. I don't understand. Well now my friend and her boyfriend worked it out and are back together and my boyfriend won’t leave her alone, asking her to leave her boyfriend. It’s so hard but it’s not the first time he has gone after my friends. I just don't know what to do. I feel sick every time I think about it and everything reminds me of him. I hate myself for this but I know if he came back to me I would take him back. I don't know what to do. Should I just let him go and forget about him? Because I want him back so bad and he hasn't put any effort, like he doesn't love me anymore, like he is completely over me. But how can anyone get over someone so fast? Should I just leave him alone? Please help me
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male
reader, Lostandalone  +, writes (24 July 2006):
 I think for the time being you should leave him alone and your "friend" is no longer your friend she is just someone you know. You need time to heal from all the lying and deceit and then the cheating. If your EX-boyfriend came back to you now all you would do is make his life hell along with your own. Let him waddle in his stupidity for awhile and you get your head back in the right direction. Its hard right now but it will come to light because there is one. To answer your question: No feelings don't just go away overnight. I wish they did but they don't. You have to dig deep within yourself and find who you love most you or him. Because if you take him back now then you have proven that you love him more than yourself and have told him uncontiously that it is okay what he did and he can do it anytime he pleases because you will always be there to take him back. Trust me, go out and have fun with your friends (the real ones) and try to sort out some things and learn to love you again. After some time has passed then you can ponder if you want to have this man back in your life. By this time it will become evident if you do or you don't. I hope this helps and I wish you the best of luck.
A
female
reader, Tine  +, writes (24 July 2006):
 dont beat yourself up about this, none of this business is your fault! I say just completely kcik this guy to the kerb, you deserve so much better. If he tries to go out with all your friends he's obviously not that bothered about your feelings and is only looking out for himself so i suggest that you do the same! It shows that he has no emotions or feelings at all by him not trying to make an effort in getting back on your good books again so i say dont waste your time any longer, this guy aint worth your time! If you love him fair enough but do you want someone like this, who is going to break your heart at every opportunity, in your life? Nobody would waste their time no matter if they loved him or not. Getting over him wont be easy at all but you need to be strong for yourself and tell yourself that there is someone else out there who will give you the respect that you deserve and who will treat you right, even if it takes a year or so to find them, they will come - all you need to do is take some time to yourself to build up the confidence you need to push this guy aside. Then concentrate on building a fresh new exciting relationship with someone else
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2006): Dump his sorry ass. You deserve more.
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