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My BF came back to me after he left me, and is now nervous around me. Why is this?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (31 August 2012) 5 Answers - (Newest, 1 September 2012)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Hi all, My BF left me for a while - about 6 weeks. we were having problems. Anyway he called me recentley and I had missed him terribly. Anyway, I stayed over with him last night ,and he was all over me, and actually looks and is acting really frightened and is on his best behaviour, and acting as if he thinks I am going to leave him. I must admit - my feelings have changed, but not to that extent, but they have changed as I am obviously a bit more cautious now. Why is he acting so scared? and tiptoeing around me? he looks dead serious and loved up. It's slighlty unsettling, as I have actually been there,and stayed with him so it;s not as if I am walking out and have left him. He was falling over himself to do what he could for me. Why is he acting this way? Thanks

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2012):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Hi all. Thanx for your answers. Am not sure what it is,but have seen a marked improvement in his behaviour. I asked him if he had slept with anyone while we were apart. He said no,and asked me the same question. I haven.t either. He said he had needed time to think. He.s as nervous as a kitten. I.m being nice and normal,but yes, he.s sensed a shift in me. I.m ready to walk if it happens again. X

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2012):

Hey, my now ex-bf and I went through something similar....he acted clingy when we got back together because he had slept with 2 other girls during our 'break'-please be wary, and use precautions if you're having sex, just in case of STIs.

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (31 August 2012):

The question I would ask is what did he get up to when you were apart? Is there something that is going to come back and bite him? I wouldn't necessarily expect someone to act this way unless there was something in the back of their minds that they are scared of you finding out

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2012):

There is a very good joke how men and women behave after break up.

First week: women are crying, depressed, sad, tell themselves they will never find another man like the one they just lost, wishes to reconcile. Men are happy, celebrating their freedom with friends, hooking up with anyone that moves.

Third week: women start going on dates again, actually feeling kind of free and light, still thinking sometimes about her lost boyfriend.

Men are getting a little fed up with women they slept with not even remembering their faces, tired of the same scenario every weekend of picking up a new girl, they drink too much, they start missing their girlfriend.

Fifth week: women now REALLY enjoy their lives without lost boyfriend, back to hobbies and girls nights out. They enjoy dating going

to concerts and restaurants. Men are now really depressed about being along, always on a hunt to get meaningless sex with whoever say yes that night. They start worrying that they are turning into alcoholics going to bars almost every night with their buddies. They think about their girlfriend ALL the time, how perfect it was to come home to someone who cares, and again have familiar and awesome sex with someone who knows exactly what to do.

Week six: women have a very vague recollection of terribly sad first week, men are begging to take them back:)

It was in one of the magazines I read at the doctors office last week:). Hope it will help!

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A female reader, Abella United States +, writes (31 August 2012):

Abella agony auntHe is serious. He does not want to lose you and he has sensed a tiny change in you. Though he does not know that your decision is that, at the moment, you have no intention of leaving him.

Because now he knows, after spending some time away from you, that life is not as good when you are not with him and not in his life.

He thinks this is his last chance.

And he loves you and feels consumed with anxiety at the possibility that he may lose you. He now knows how alone he feels without you in his life. He has learned how much he misses you and needs and wants you. He is hoping that you will see by his actions how much he loves you.

Give him some comfort in words so that he understands that he can relax a little. That you it is not your intention to walk out.

But that maybe there might be some things the two of you may want to discuss later.

Right now he is trying to prove to you via all his attention that he truly does love you.

The man is besottted, give him a little bit of room to work through 'besotted'.

Great time to ask for a bunch of flowers or a piece of jewellery IF you were that way inclined

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