A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone I wanted to ask for some relationship advice. I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years. Although he is a fantastic person he is not such a good boyfriend. He NEVER wants to talk about our relationship as I can tell he thinks those conversations are cheesy and he gets embarrassed. We run into problems that are very much based on typical relationship issues but he will never want to discuss them he will just crack a joke and take the smile as meaning Im ok and we don’t have to talk about it. That as led to us not having any ground rules, we run into the same problems over and over because we don’t talk anything out.At this point i have brought up our relationship so many times in conversation I look like a total pain in the a*s. I really need him to notice how much it means to me to have proper foundations for our relationship. Can anyone give me tips to get a guy to wake up and realize that Im not going to keep up my half of the relationship if wont do his fair share? Any tips would be useful, even immature playground tactics! His complacency is making me sick at this stage xx
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, EllsworthT  +, writes (24 August 2009):
Guys don't like feeling like idiots. While we're good at things like math, and fixing cars, and talking about football, we have absolutely no clue what the hell women are talking about when it comes to touchy-feely crap like "relationships". And this makes us feel like idiots.If you have a problem to solve, ask a guy. Otherwise, if you want discussions about feelings, you might as well talk to your goldfish because neither of us has any idea what the hell you're going on about. A few guys might be good at that stuff, but most have just learned to shake their heads and say "yeah" a lot, which is sufficient to fool their partners. It's not meant to be disrespectful, it keeps the human race alive.Tell me SPECIFICALLY what you are trying to communicate to your boyfriend and I will tell you how to communicate that to him in a manner he can understand. Chances are you will find writing this down very difficult because it's touchy-feely crap that probably makes no logical sense.
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