A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:so me and my friend have a really screwed up relationship we slept together and then he didn't speak to me for 3 months i emailed him and asked for no contact a month later he mails me out the blue and starts talking to me. He found out i was getting evicted and said. where you moving to ? look we have had are differences but im always up for giving you a hand.Im not sure how im supposed to respond to this.is this his way of telling me he would like to see me?Im not sure what he means by differences.We were best friends for 5 years and he told me he was in love with me and i love him. I don't think we can ever be "just friends" im confused about what to do.
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2009): Ok, well then I think you should think about YOU instead of him and what is up with him. Sometimes we women spend way too much time trying to analyze what a guy means, what is going on with him, when really all we have to do is look at their actions.
He clearly is not interested in a romantic relationship with you. Saying I love you is meaningless if he can't back it up with some verbs. I don't mean that this has anything to do with how lovable you are or how attractive he finds you. For what ever reason, and it could be just about anything, he is not into you. It is his issues that he is dealing with, so the best thing for you to do is to forget about a realtionship with him and to find a guy who really wants you and wants a real relationship with YOU.
You can do this, cut all contact with him if it will help you to move on. You don't owe this clown friendship no matter how guilty you might feel for the years you have put into this, he isn't worth it.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe loved me and there was all the passion in the world there best lover i ever had. we went back to being friends but he would still be over affectionate with me he told me he broke it off for fear of losing me then one day he went all wiered and just stopped talking. He told his sister he was in love with me too (she is a pretty good friend of mine). I asked him for no contact about a month ago because i felt like he had betrayed me by not talking to me and by sleeping with me knowing how i felt about him.I spoke to his sister and she said that he really loves me and that he really wanted to be with me he just didn't know how to deal with it because he felt he couldnt give me the commitment i wanted. Im not sure i can go there with him as a friend because i have loved him for so long and i know that it will never just be a friendship even if he tried to make it out that way. He waited for me i used to live about 150 miles away from him and he told me he loved me before but said it would never work because of the distence. He really confuses me
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2009): There is not really enough information here to know what exactly is going on with you two.
I think it is odd that you were best friends for five years and then he tells you that he loves you and then you sleep with him and he stops talking to you for three months, but you asked for no contact, when did you do that?
Maybe he just realized after trying to take your relationship to the next level he couldn't really do that. Sometimes when you have been in the friend zone for so long it is hard to really have the proper passion for each other even though he may really love you as a friend....it doesn't mean that you couldn't develop that, but it isn't something you can force that is for sure.
I think he contacted you because he felt you might need his help and he wants to be there for you as a friend. It is really up to you if you want to go there with him again.
I wish you the best, keep us up to date.
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