A
female
age
30-35,
*urleyflipflop
writes:my boyfriend and i have been together for a little over 2 years now, he's a few years(3) older than i am, and we are perfectly happy..however we seem to have conflicting views on what sexual fun is...i prefer romantic sex or "making love" if you will, and he'll engage in that here and there to make me happy, but he has far more fun giving and receiving oral sex, when I don't. I enjoy it and all, but I'd rather have sex..a lot of the time lately were working a lot and when it comes down to it we disagree and sometimes end up just skipping it all and going to bed! What should we do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2007): Well, I am a female in my 40's and have learned a few life lessons...if you are not sexually compatible with your husband (or could be husband) than throw in the towel! Have some fun, girl! Let your hair down! If you are in love, than sex is making love, and oral sex is making love. The whole premise of any intimate action oral or intercourse is to please your partner and show them love. Beware, men will get bored with the same old. Sex and oral sex with the man you love should not be taboo or looked upon as dirty. And I agree with the above, compromise! One other note: I find it funny that you "disagree" and just skip it. It should be a natural act, and at your age, spontaneous...why are you discussing it? It sounds mechanical. God just wait until you are married 20 years...If you just plain do not like oral sex, than I suggest you tell him. It sounds like he really likes it and it would be a disasterous marriage if you "faked" it and then stopped after marriage. Trust me, friends have done it...and you wonder why the divorce rate is so high?
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2007): Why do people say "don't do anything you want to do" and "only if you feel like it" -- if we all had that sort of approach then relationships would end up completely sexless.
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A
female
reader, thatgothgirl20 +, writes (20 November 2007):
 All I have to say is, don't do anything you don't want to do. Which is why your question confused me. You said you enjoy oral, but you prefer sex. Is it because sex feels more intimate?
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