A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ive been with my boyfriend for almost four years and also I met a guy and I've been seeing him for about six months.I see the other guy twice a month, every time he comes to home, because his a marine .i really like him i feel he is the one, but i do not want to leave my boyfriend, because we have a child together and i don't want to break up our family .. The other guy knows i have a bf and he doesn't care he still wants to be with me ??Please help!idk what to do Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2012): 1. You will seek counselling.I say this because there is something you seem to feel you are missing in your current relationship but I say is a deep seated issue as it manifests in your emotional/physical cheating. Healthy, happy people do NOT seek others as a distraction. They are able to cut ties with one partner and end the relationship before moving on and finding another. People who keep one partner and seek after another share traits with serial cheaters/sex addicts/narcissists.2. Make a choice.What matters most- Remaing a Family and being faithful, monogamous, practicing fidelity while being Mom and Dad to child?Or restarting a New Family with your what? your sex with benefits dude?How do you know he will make a good, loving, supportive father and life mate to you?Most children who are physically harmed/emotionally abused are at the hands of a step parent as their has been no loving bond formed and the Step parent sees the child as a threat.So what honest, informed, educated opinion can you form when you only see the marine dude for two days a month? All he has are words and he already is fine with you cheating and lying to your current BF, he aids you in upholding a lie so how is he trustworthy?3. You need to make it a Habit to Live Honestly. Sort this all out in counselling ASAP.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (4 January 2012):
 Staying with your boyfriend for the sake of a child is not a good reason to stay with him or lie to him or cheat on him.
You are 21 and have been with your boyfriend since you were 17 or so right? Not sure how old your child is but you are teaching this child is that it’s acceptable to lie and cheat someone you supposedly love. Is that what you want your son or daughter to learn?
Clearly you don’t’ want to be with the baby’s daddy and THAT’S OK… but be an adult about it and make a clean break.
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A
female
reader, jinxx  +, writes (4 January 2012):
 You have been in a committed relationship for 4 years, during which you had a child with that person. You're seeing someone on the side, and you want to know how you can successfully continue seeing them both?You can't, and why would you want to? Wanting to have your cake and eat it too doesn't sound any better just because you want to keep your family together. All you're doing now is taking steps to tear your family apart. Your choice is easy. Come clean to your boyfriend and hope he forgives you and you can move past this together. Or... end your relationship with your boyfriend, and continue seeing this other guy. It will all come out eventually, and you would be better off being the one to tell your boyfriend what has been going on.My advice is to be mature and make the decision that best suits you and your child. What that is, I have no idea, but you should probably figure it out soon.
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A
female
reader, In.love.with.him +, writes (4 January 2012):
 There is so much I can say but the way your trying to achieve your enlightenment is not going to work. It's clear you only want to be with your boyfriend because of the family and a relationship only on those terms is going to end up grumpy you can have a child and be separated. Do whats best for the kid cause 2 unhappy parents equals 1 unhappy kid in the long run...
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2012): There's nothing you can do that won't hurt innocent people: child, baby daddy, the one you want to be with for life.
You made a baby with a guy before you knew whether or not he was the one, now you know he isn't the one yet you're still tied to him for life as his baby mama, so you are no longer free to follow your heart.
Now that you believe you've met the one, you are already a mother and realize you must put your child's interests first ahead of your own, so you are no longer free to follow your heart.
Another unfortunate (and usually inevitable)consequence of teenage pregnancies, accidental or intentional.
You are stuck in an impossible situation and face an impossible choice that you know will leave others hurt no matter what you decide. I can't offer any advice, can only offer my sympathy to all parties involved.
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