A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes: I ask a question on here why my boyfriend and i get so nervous around each other but I have to ask something like that.If you haven't read my last question then I shall give you a summary of it.my boyfriend and I get super nervous around each other. We can't talk to each other without looking down or stuttering. We cant hang out with each other without people bugging us asking why we are going out with each other. we can't hug each other without running away after and we are sick of it.okay well anyways how can we stop being so nervous around each other?how can we just have a normal conversation?how can we hang out with each other at school without being annoyed by friends and other people?how can we hug each other without running away? please help me. please i don't like being so nervous i can't even talk to my own boyfriend without freaking out! please help. thank you. Reply to this Question Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (27 December 2010):
It may be that the two of you are similar in temperament, and especially close as kindred spirits.
But what is bothering you both, about hanging out with each other? You are not hurting anyone. Try not attach so much drama to it. By doing that you are calling attention to each other. And to many it may seem like slightly silly behavior.
Try to act more naturally. And with quiet dignity.
This over anxious phase you are both displaying is a passing phase. Be patient, it will not be like this always. You will both grow in confidence and self assurance you will be less self conscious in time.
Most of all please Stop worrying about what other people think of you.
The rule is: ''what other people think of you is none of your business. It is their problem, not yours. Let them worry about
it. You have other priorities to think about ''
A
female
reader, myfairdiva +, writes (27 December 2010):
You don't give a lot of information on why you get so nervous around each other. Maybe both of you are really shy, but if you took a step towards a relationship, then not everything is lost.
If you're together, it means you started as friends, have talked and hung out in the past, and that you like each other. Sounds like a first time relationship for both, and it's normal to get a little nervous because I am guessing you don't have a lot of knowledge on how to hug, how to kiss, maybe you haven't even chose a pet name yet(not that you have to, they just come naturally when they do).
So the key here, is to start by getting to know each other better. Have you both been out on your own? Like for a movie, or for a meal, or even a walk, or go bowling. Do things together that you both enjoy. Break the ice by telling him a joke and laugh, it's always good for relaxing. As for group dates, hang out with people who really appreciate you and won't start mocking your relationship with this boy, because he sounds important to you.
When you grow older, you will find out what strangers say about you to bug you really doesn't matter. Be strong, and be yourself.
Maybe there are other issues that you need to work out that you can speak about to a close grown up, friend, parent.
Smile, relax and feel happy that you have this blessing, a partner in crime, a friend, relax and just hug him, it doesn't have to be long, as long as it feels good and comforting. When talking, it's also important to listen carefully, so you can come back with another comment, and so on. Maybe you should try talking at a game, when watching a dvd, something to distract your eyes.
I'm sure you will overcome this, you're young and sound like a nice girl, and what you're doing is nothing wrong at this age.
Find that confidence within.
xoxo
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