A
female
age
41-50,
*ebecca-BJ
writes:as I have posted here before, i fell in love with a married man who had two affairs out of marriage before with me. He said he was only serious about me and he seriously planned to divorce for me, he actually did ask her wife to agree to divorce, but she did not agree. Then we had to wait her to agree. During that period, i met my current boyfriend, he did not know what happend to me and thought i was the one he had been looking for, i kinda liked him. i finnaly dicided to leave the maried guy after two years of struggling. two reasons: first, i love him but i dont have confidence for the future and trust on him. i couldnt help wondering that he would abandon me like he will abandon his wife for me. second, i feel shame being a secret mistress and eager to have a normal life. That's why i left him and he was so devastated. he thought i left him for my current boyfriend, actually it was not the truth. I left him becasue i did not want to be the one in soembody's marriage and i dont really trust he would divroce his wife and i dont have confidence for our future. my boyfriend and i are happy together, he the one i have been deaming for. he loves me and plan to marry me. but sometime i just coulnt help thinking about the married guy, feeling sad and lost. by accident, the travlling agent called me and told me the tickets to Thailand were aleady, then i got to know he is with another girl rigth now, but he is still in marriage, what a man! but i cant even judge him and still think of him all the time. what happend to me?
View related questions:
affair, confidence, divorce, fell in love, married man, mistress, my ex, period Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (15 July 2008):
 You'd been played. He's with another one now. I bet he's saying "She's the only one" too and getting her hopes up for a future which is not going to happen.
He's not going to leave his wife. Were you there when he asked for divorce and she denied it? Have you ever been married? In your case, if he was serious it would work something like this, with his wife. "I don't love you anymore. I found someone else. I'm moving out, and my lawyer will contact you with divorce papers."
The truth behind what happened is that you were giving him what he wanted, and he didn't have to change his life to get it. You need to watch out for these individuals. He's now on victim #4 or more. Who knows?
I don't think being the "other woman" in the first place would be something to be proud of. Do you fear commitment? How do you feel about yourself? It seems with getting played for so long, you don't feel as important as you should. Remember, having more love and respect for yourself increases the chances of finding a relationship that will be true.
|
