A
female
age
30-35,
*wkwardturtle31415
writes: My best guy friend is leading me on. He's always looking at me when we're hanging out together, even if our other friends are there. I'll ask him "what?" and he'll say "nothing" but keep looking. We talk all the time and he teases me all the time. Like, sitting on the grass doing work, he'll poke me with weeds.He genuinely listens to me whenever I need someone to talk to, which is why he's one of my best friends. He has a girlfriend back at home that he never talks about, but he texts her a lot. He knows that I have feelings for him and he keeps flirting with me. I love him, but I will never make a move while he is in a relationship. A couple of my other friends have noticed it and commented on it to me privately. I am crazy about him, but I refuse to make any sort of move while he's still in a relationship. I want to keep him as my friend if at all possible, but this is driving me crazy. My friends think that he just likes knowing that he's liked and it's really just an ego boost for him. It's not fair to me or to his girlfriend for this to keep up. Should I talk to him about it? We can talk about most anything. Should I just let him go and lose a good friend? I have no idea what to do... he's the first guy who has ever shown interest in me and honestly I do like his attention, but it isn't right or healthy to let this go on. Help!
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female
reader, Trinklett  +, writes (24 July 2011):
 I think he still likes his gf but has feelings for you. He acted dumb to brush it off. I know he may be like your bestfriend but I know the gf has got to be uncomfortable with ur closeness with him. Give him some space to make up his mind
A
female
reader, awkwardturtle31415 +, writes (23 July 2011):
awkwardturtle31415 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionUPDATE:
So I talked to him. I told him that he can't have it both ways, implying that he can't just keep his girlfriend and
string me along too. I also said that some of our friends have started to notice the flirtatious behavior.
He played really dumb and like he was super confused, until he finally just came out and begged for me to tell him what "it" was.
So i told him that spending large portions of time staring off in my direction and flirting with me does not send the proper message to me. He knows I like him and he supposedly doesn't feel the same way, yet he acts like that.
He claimed that he didn't know what kind of message it was sending and where else is he supposed to look when we're hanging out?
I told him that I'm tired of having my heart broken over and over because he acts in a way that suggests he has feelings for me, but either doesn't or has no intention of acting on them.
he just asked what I suggest for a solution...
i'm not real sure what the best solution is. i wanted to say that he needs to watch himself better, but I had said some hurtful things like how i wish i'd never met him and i didn't want to be any meaner than i had been.
Then he said something interesting...
he said he'd been afraid of this for awhile, that talking to me and everything was doing something along these lines.
which, to me, suggests that he knows exactly what he's doing.
i'm so confused.
things are back to normal now, we talk every day for hours just like before and i can tell him anything.
i don't know what to think or do anymore...
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A
female
reader, juniexbaby +, writes (23 July 2011):
You should definitely talk to him about it. What he is doing. It is not right and he should be called out for it. He is probably just bored in his relationship and gets excitement messing with you, when he knows you are interested in him. Who knows, if you call him on it he might drop his girl and go for you.
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