A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Ok so here's the deal, I've been best friends with this girl, Smokey*, since freshman year in high school, and we've been on and off only because she's had "some issues" to say the least, but never the less I consider her my only true girl friend. Now, Ive been friends with this guy, C*, since my second year of college and we were a little physical at the beginning but then I started dating someone else; still, although I was 'taken' we always hung out (and still do), we get along great and if I wasnt with somebody else Id probably be with him. I know in my heart that the guy Im with now is the one, and that C is just my best guy friend. It wasnt until recently that I introduced Smokey and C and now they are hanging out and they kind of like each other. I should be happy that theyre happy and might have a potential relationship, but its extremely difficult for me to even think about the two of them dating. It would be easier if CG was with some girl I didnt know, but no...its my freakin best friend! And, unfortunately I feel if I put my feelings aside and let them get to know each other and what not, I know that my relationship with both of them will be different in a negative way. Part of me just wants to dump the situation because I feel selfish, but on the other hand, I cant just let my only 2 best friends slip away and I cant let them date because Im jealous and I just cant get over these feelings. Should I just let them do what they want or should I be hated by saying I dont want them together? What should I do??? Somebody please give me some advice :(
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2009): Its simple, you dont really like you boyfriend as much as you think and you are in love with you best guy friend. Stop being silly and realise it before its too late. Because the way you are feeling, if you try and hide it, you will end up being weird and off with both of your friends.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2009): I completely agree with your advice. I know I cant have my cake and eat it too, which sucks but the truth hurts. I know its really weird for me to have these feelings about a guy other than my current boyfriend, and its something I find myself struggling with whenever I hang out with C. When I compare guys and compare what could be the future with either one of them, the guy Im with just compliments me completely. After sleeping on the thought of my two best friends dating, its getting easier for me to handle but its still something I feel slightly uncomfortable with. I guess jealousy was/is getting the best of me and it was good to hear from someone who see's the situation from the outside. Youre right, Im being selfish and putting my silly feelings in the way of my two friends potential for one another. Its not going to be easy hanging out with both of them, because for all these years Ive kept them as separate parts of my life for a reason, and now I have confront this weird feeling I have head on. Thanks for all your help.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2009): I know how you feel, and it's completely normal to feel that way, but at the end of the day you can't have have your cake and eat it too. If you really look at the situation honestly, their both your best friends and if they end up dating each other you're gonna get most of the props for that.You guys will still hang out. But you gotta ask yourself, you say the guy your with is the one, then how come you don't think of him as your best guy friend? You just have to ask yourself what and who you really want, and be straight up about it. Don't beat around the bush. If you liked your dude that much, you wouldn't be jealous of your best girlfriend liking your best guy friend. You gotta ask yourself those questions and then I think you know what to do. That's just my opinion, Hope that helps...let me know what you think about the advise...thanks
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