A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:My best friends parents hit her, and I really need someone to talk to about it, but I swore to her not to tell anyone. She won't do anything about it, won't tell anyone or anything and it's driving me insane. I can't tell my mum because she'll want t do something, I can't tell my school because ditto and I can't tell my friends because I promised her I wouldn't say a thing. I have tot alk to someone about it though. How can I make her tell someone and who can I talk to about it without betraying her trust?
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you so much - i love all the advice you have given me. my friend is refusing to talk to someone, but i suppose i have to give her time and keep an eye on her. thank you again :) xxxx
A
female
reader, Oblivia  +, writes (4 December 2008):
 I feel so much for you and your friend. It is such a shame she has to go through this, and indirectly you too. I have read through the others answers and I think they make a good point when saying that you should stick to trying to pursuade your friend and not tell without her consent. You seem like such a good friend to her and a good friend like you is very valuable for her now. Where I come from, if an adult finds out a child is being abused, one have to notify the authorities according to the laws. But you are a child yourself and her best friend. Keep her trust but don't give up trying to make her herself tell someone who could help her, someone like f ex your mother. Offer to be with her all the way if she decides to do so and let her know you will be there whenever she needs to. You are really a wonderful friend and that is all you have to be.
I hope some adult around will see and understand and help your friend and her family out with this. I hope too that she will also find some strength to dare to stand up to her parents herself.
Best wishes to you and your friend!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for all your help. The thing is that my best friend refuses to tell anyone and said if I do she'll hate me forever. I feel so lonely because she wont talk about it with me and i cant talk about it to anyone. I think about it all the time and I can't share my problem because I'm not allowed. What am I meant to do?
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A
female
reader, BlondeBabe x +, writes (3 December 2008):
 Would you feel worse telling someone and breaking your promise or your friend getting hit again ?
I think you are a good friend to try and keep this secret it shows you are trustworthy.
However you need to step and talk to your friend, convince that she has to tell someone.
I think the savest bet is your mum as you is a adult, if the girl is your best firend then I take it that your mum will know her well.
She needs to tell soemone else you can't carry this burden all by yourself and eventually you will become to involved and more and more upset when you can't handle it anymore.
Good Luck x
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2008): A word given is worth its weight in gold.You can convince her to tell some one every chance you get.She needs to make the ultimate choice.If you make choices for her you are not much better than her parent who is physically subduing her into control.
All the best.keep us posted.
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A
female
reader, Oblivia +, writes (3 December 2008):
I'm sorry, this must be so very hard on you. I would still want to advice you to make a tough decision though, and tell someone adult. Your friend might feel betrayed, but in the long run she will be better off getting help with this. Being beaten is always a big risk physically as well as mentally and she does run a big risk to be seriously hurt or maybe killed.
First thing I would try and convince her to go together with you to a doctor or nurse in school or a nearby hospital. If she knows your mum and trust her, you could also ask her to tell your mum while you are there too.
If she refuses you can still save her by telling someone adult what is going on and ask them to talk to and help your friend. You risk loosing your friend's trust at first, but it will be worth it to save her and when she grows older she will be happy there were people around her that didn't leave her alone in this.
Best wishes!
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