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female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Ok so I like my best friends brother. He took my virginity. I known him for 4 years and liked him 2 years of the 4 I've known him. We had sex only two times. We got a chance to talk and he said he doesnt want to be in a relationship. Im sixteen and hes twenty-four. I know its a big age difference and illegal but I like him alot. He said that time will tell. I have no idea what to do. It's so hard because when I go to my best friends house hes there. Should I forgot about him and move on?
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female
reader, DrPsych  +, writes (31 January 2007):
 He was using you for sex because he is older than you and not handling a teenage crush maturely. You cannot change other people but you can change yourself. It is very sad that you had to lose it to someone who doesn't care about you but learn from the mistake - liking someone and having sex with them doesn't make them like you back. Save the physical side of things until you are at least in a relationship with someone who treats you with respect. I never think it is a great idea to get involved with friend's siblings or people at work because you have to still see them long after the romance has died...I am sure it works out sometimes but it is a bit of a gamble. Best friendship is far more precious than flings with random men.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2007): Hi,
No matter how mature you are, there is a huge gap between a 17 year old and a 24 year old. Most 24 year olds with heads on their shoulders would not touch a girl as young as you, and don't date younger girls because they don't have much in common (I'm assuming you're in High School and he's in Uni or working). The gap will change with age (31-37 year olds generally have the same level of maturity). But right now I'm afraid that he won't take this any further because he was using you, and probably has kept the fact that he slept with you a secret - because he would be embarrassed to admit to his poor behaviour and taking advantage of you sexually (even though you were a willing partner). His friends would think he's a loser who has to date young girls because he can't hookup or be with one his own age, and that is why he will not consider you his girlfriend (which is why his behaviour is pretty dispicable). And he pretty much is a loser to have taken advantage of your affections - you deserve someone who really cares for you so dump the immature jerk.
P.S. I got this out of the mouth of a 25 year old who was worried about dating a 21 year old... and he's a decent guy.
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A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (31 January 2007):
 I don't think he's giving you a choice about moving on or not. He doesn't want a relationship. Unfortunately a lot of guys are like this and just use girls for sex and then finish with them so be careful who you trust in the future.
CD
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