A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: My best friend can’t take the truth and now is blaming me. She’s saying I’ve betrayed her by saying that I never told her the truth but when I did, she couldn’t handle it and got angry with me and then said I betrayed her. The truth is, my other friends just don’t like her and I couldn’t force my other friends to like her, she has an attitude problem. My best friend over the years has been more and more of a wannabe and was overtaken by her own pride that she ridicules others including me. She is now however saying that I never stood up for her, how could I when she was at the wrong, now she is saying I’m siding another friend of mine instead of her and kept on saying it’s betrayal. What happened was, a mutual friend was having a farewell party for another childhood friend of mine and since it’s not my party, my friend decided not to invite my best friend, my best friend found out and came breathing down my neck asking why wasn’t she invited, she pestered me and she got angry with me. I then got frustrated and told her the truth that she is not welcomed that our friends in actual truth can't stand her. I then went to the party without her and had a real fun time. Pictures were out on myspace and my best friend was furious and refused to answer my msgs on msn, that was two months ago. After that I just got sick of asking her if she was ok and trying to explain. After our fallout, all of my other friends said it's good riddance and I felt bad and tried asking her how is she doing but no replies.Then yesterday she called me but I don’t want to pick up her calls anymore because I really feel she was being senseless, two months she completely ignores me thinking she has all the rights to be angry with me while I'm supposed to feel guilty and not angry with her behavior?? But then after I refused to take her calls, she left a message on my facebook thrashing me about the whole betrayal thing. There is no point explaining to her because she will start crying/yelling and she just won’t listen and I’m actually really bothered and pissed when she said betrayal. I don’t think it’s fair to me, we’ve been friends since we were 12 but right now I just don’t see this friendship could continue on, I’m sick of it. I want to just let it be because I’m just fed up, this is not the first time. Truth is she is not even very nice to me, always judgmental and not encouraging, I’m feeling like she’s absorbing my energy by dumping all her drama onto me because it’s always her and her problems but she never wants to listen to mine. I’m just sick of it. Part of me still wants to explain to her by replying her msg but the bigger part of me is really tired and just wants to let it be and cut all ties with her. What should I do? Please help, thanks a lot.
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female
reader, taina1980 +, writes (7 June 2008):
I had friend just like this & you are in no way shape or form wrong for what you are doing... I say you don't owe her an wxplanation but if you must send her an email explaining your reasonings for your actions & also tell her to cut the sh&t cuz she doesn't run your life you do...& just because she has a problem with sum1 doesn't mean you have to...
A
female
reader, lexilou +, writes (7 June 2008):
I can understand why she felt hurt and left out by not being invited but as you say that was not your fault and you were stuck in the middle of all this.
It sounds to me like she is one of lifes takers and has nothing to give and as you say she drains you but is not prepared to give anything back in your relationship.
I had a friend like this for 8 years and finally got so fed up with her I told her exactly what I thought and it ended with her threatening to smash my windows and my face, some friend huh!! I cut her out of my life and it was the best decision I ever made as Ive since found out she had done so many things behind my back and bitched about me constantly. She slept with my ex husband just as we were breaking up, when I left him and bought my own house she went to my bank where I worked and complained that they wouldnt give her a mortgage (she was going through a divorce too) but were favouring me as I worked there. I nearly lost the house as they had to investigate the claim.
We did make the peace after 18 months and are civil if see each other but I have never ever let her back into my life as she was like a disease that just got worse over time.
I think youre better off without her x
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