A
female
,
*ovesick
writes: Dear Cupid,I really like this boy but the only problem is that it is my best friend's ex.She absolutely hates him now! She would never forgive me if I dated him but I like him a lot and I'm pretty sure that he likes me too, but I love my best friend and I would never want to do anything to hurt her. so what should I do? Should I talk to her about my feelings for him or should I completely try to stop liking him?Sincerely, Lovesick
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best friend, her ex Reply to this Question Share |
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2006): Anyway... As with D4u04, I suggest talking with your friend. Mind you, it depends on her character. If she is close-minded and unwilling to listen, then I suggest you back off. However, if she is a reasonable person, you can share your feelings with her. Please note however, that you even said your friend hates him. Is there a reason why she hates him?
Obviously, the ethical thing is that if indeed she hates him for moral reasons, then what is your emotions falling for in the first place?
There is always a risk factor - friends falling for friends, friends falling for friends' exs', and so on and so forth. You can always lose one, lose both, or gain in the end.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2006): I couldn't disagree with the previous response more. There is an unwritten rule we gals have and that is; You're best friend's guy(s) (whether current or ex) are off limits. There are tons of other guys out there for you to choose from, but best friends are hard to find. If you value your friendship with your best friend, you'll give up this fantasy with her ex and find a different guy.
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A
male
reader, d4u04 +, writes (19 March 2006):
Talk to her, liking this boy as much as you do, tell her what you feel and I'm sure she'll understand, she might be a bit annoyed at first but that will blow over. If she's a good friend then she'll understand that you like him and you're not doing it to hurt her kind of thing. x
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