A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hello. I am 15 yrs old and my bestfriend is my same age she is very cool to be around, me and her have been friends for almost 5 years. and recently she started going out with a guy who is 21 which means they are 6 years apart. is that illegal? I guess they are really in love with each other but I dnt want her in problems with him. the guy treats her nice and I quess he's mature enough to want something serious well hopefully and my bestfriend is smart in school. her mom knows that they go out and she's kool with it. but her dad dosent and he is those type of super jealous dads. and now she thinks she might be pregnant by her boyfriend I wanna give her advice and help her out but I really dnt kno wat to tell her, except that she's really dumb for getting pregnant, and not using protection. can someone help me?
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female
reader, shelbyrayanne  +, writes (25 August 2009):
 First off this just happened to me and my friend and we are the same age as you guys. so i think i can help! so what i did for my friend when she thought she was pregnant was i went to the store and bought her alot of her favorite candies and rented movies. then we had a sleepover and talked about it. the best thing to do is just keep her spirts up. make her feel happy and help her get therw this. my friend waited 2 weeks, and got her period. we never did tell her parents. but we should have. or tell her just to tell anybody she wants to tell like a aunt, or an older sister or someone that can take her to the doctor or buy her a test.
well i hope i helped you at least a little bit!
good luck. :)
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2009): my bestfriend is with a guy who is 6 years older then her too. They started talking when she was 15 and he was 21. At first i tried convincing her that it is wrong and it is illegal, but all she did was get mad at me. For awhile she woulnd't talke about him to me cux she knew how i felt. If she thinks she is pregnant just talk to her about it. Tell her to take a pregnancy test and to talk to her boyfriend. If she is pregnant she's gonna need all the support she can get. Just talk to her about it and let her know that your there for her. If it turns out it was a false alarm try to convince her to hold off on having sex. If someone were to find out that her and her 21 year old boyfriend are doing that he could go to jail. So just let her know that and talk to her. I hope that somewhat helps.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2009): You can start by telling her to use contraception in future, weather she's pregnant this time or not. Advise her to take two pregnancy tests to get a parallele reading, then encourage her to tell her parents (if she is pregnant), so she can get all the support she needs.
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A
female
reader, DrPsych  +, writes (21 August 2009):
 I think it is slightly worrying that a 21 year old man is interested in a 15 year old girl 'super cool' or not. Basically I don't have a problem with age-gap relationships (I am in one), I do think it matters a great deal when one of the partnership is a minor. I don't know what State you are in, but it is probable that their sexual contact would be considered illegal by the authorities. You say that he treats her well, but obviously not that well...if they are having unprotected sex he doesn't respect her at all or care about her future. My concern is that his interest in this girl is not entirely healthy...21 year old men like much younger girls when they lack the ability to get someone of their own age. They feel it is easier to impress young girls. As a best mate, I would say you have to encourage your friend to take a pregnancy test right away. If it is negative, escort her to a family planning service in your community as she is at risk of sexual infections and pregnancy if she continues with this relationship. If it is positive, she needs to tell her parents right away. She also needs to make a decision about her future and she needs to be aware that 21 year old 'father' may not be there in the years ahead.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2009): You know your friend better than anyone else, the best way round this is to talk to her and see what she wants to do with only being 15 and her life head of her. If this guy loves her he would stand by her and make the right decision, we all make mistakes please think about what your friend wants and help her in what ever decision.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2009): Thats what they call statutory rape, if one of the sex partner is under 17. What is he doing any way with a 15 years old?
i hate giving advices about abortion, but what is she going to do otherwise- have a baby at 15?
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A
female
reader, katt-x- +, writes (21 August 2009):
 First of all, it is not illegal for them to be together, but it is illegal for him to have any sexual contact with her as she is under 16.
The main thing you have to remember s be supportive. If she is pregnant, she's going to be going through so much, and if her dad is not happy about the situation anyway, this is going to make it much worse. She needs someone who can support her and she can rely on rigth now, and if you are her true friend, you will be that person.
Also, do not try and force her into a desicion. It is always good to explain your feelings to her, but if she feels differently, do not try and persuade her otherwise, as she may do something she could regret for the rest of her life.
Good luck to both of you
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2009): Wow 15 and preg. has she not seen the movie and how it ends....It's a really hard thing to be a teenage and in love with someone older...She needs to get tested and if she is take responiblity for her actions and as well if this guy is mature enough to stand by her thats great but if he's a loser...let this be a HUGE lesson to her and letting her judgement subside with this guy. Hopefully she will do the right thing and stay in school get a degree and take care of her child...and if she's not preg. Let that be a warning from the lord above giving her a second chance at life...and to be more carefully if sexual active. I hope this helps.
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A
female
reader, hijacked_dignity +, writes (21 August 2009):
 First off, this is illegal. So when this child is born, there are going to be a lot of questions. This guy isn't mature, because only an very immature adult would even consider having sex with a minor. She is really dumb. But he's even worse, because he took advantage of her ignorance. I can't believe that her mom is cool with her having sex with a twenty-one year old.
How can you help her? The thing is about this situation, you can't. I can already see a rather sad ending to this story. When it all boils down to it, your friend is the one that has to deal with all the responsibility, which isn't really fair. I think the best thing you can do is to coax her into first finding out if she is really pregnant, and then eventually having her tell an authority figure who the father really is. This guy deserves some legal action against him. No man should have sex with a fifteen year old girl. Period. It puts her in a very bad place if she gets pregnant (as you can see now), and she just isn't ready to handle being a mother at this age.
So find out the facts, then maybe work up her courage to tell someone like a doctor or perhaps even a counselor at school what has happened. Her parents obviously don't have her best interest at heart if they are letting her see a twenty one year old. Best of luck.
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