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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: A few days ago my best guy friend told me he liked me as more than a friend. It completely shocked me. I have a boyfriend I've been dating for over a year and I talk to my best guy friend about my boyfriend all the time. For him to like me even though he knows how crazy I am about my bf just shocked me.So here's the problem. This has happened to me a few other times where a close guy friend will start to like me and it's always ended the same way. With them deciding they don't want to be around me. Which is very upsetting to lose friends. I'm worried that I might lose this guy friend also. He's been my best friend for around 4 or 5 years and has been there for me when my other friends have stopped talking to me over the same situation!I don't like my best guy friend so that's not the problem. The problem is that he apparently likes me, this is the second time this has happened with him. The last time was years ago and wasn't any big deal. This time however he sort of scared me with what he said. He said that he's checking his phone constanly thinking I'm calling him, this isn't that big of a deal except we're both at college now and I call him like maybe once every two or three months, not very often. Also he said this has been going on for over 5 months. So I'm guessing his feelings might be a bit stronger than the last time.So is there anywya I can make sure I don't lose my best friend? Also what can I do to stop this problem from happening in the future. I don't wat to keep having guy friends tell me they like me, especially considering they always do it when I have a boyfriend, which is just awkward for me. Thanks-
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female
reader, leo3  +, writes (6 May 2010):
 i feel you on this, and sadly i must agree with these guys, the only guy friend i've had who hasn't liked me or at least been attracted to me was gay, and even then there was a little attraction. so unfortunately you'll just have to hope that he gets over himself and sees that he cares about you as a friend.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for all the advice! Hopefully it will work out for the best. :)
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2010): Honestly, the only girls I've ever managed to be 'just' friends are the ugly ones. Otherwise there will always be that sexual attraction/temptation.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2010): Hmm I'm sorry but this is just how life is. These things happen. It's prolly easier to keep a guy as a friend as both parties become older around the mid twenties but you are trying to fight natural chemistry of a male liking a female.
While it may be sad for you, I assure you the feeling of liking a girl who has a bf and she never once thought of the guy more than a friend is much worse. That's why many guy opt to stop being at that girl's side.
You just have to reject him and see what decision he takes. He might need some time to get over you.
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (5 May 2010):
 TimmD is hit the nail right on the head! In my experience it is nearly impossible for guys to be friends with girls without some sort of attraction happening. That's just how we're wired. I have a crazy crush on my best girlfriend. It doesn't matter to me that she's in a relationship. I'm guessing it is the same thing with your friend.
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A
male
reader, TimmD +, writes (5 May 2010):
 Having a true guy friend who's not your boyfriend is very difficult. Occasionally it can happen, but it's rare. Most times girls THINK they have a true guy friend, but he really has some deep down feelings buried. Being very close with a girl even if you don't have feelings for her often leads to you questioning your relationship and ultimately falling in love.
If he really is a good friend, then he'll stick by you no matter what. If he leaves, then he wasn't THAT good of a friend, he was just around you because he thought it could lead to something more.
You take the chance of this happening whenever you have a guy friend who is not your boyfriend. Now, and in the future.
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