A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hey, ok my mate(a lad) really likes this girl he's at college with. She seems like nice girl, i've spoke to her on the odd occasion but now we've started talking more i've got her msn. Thing is we are becoming beter friends and talking more so what would be a good way of trying to find out what she thinks of my mate? I think she may like him too but i'm not sure. I'm not gonna ask him outright but how could i do it really? Like bring up a convo and he sort of involved. i dont mean like add him in or anything i mean we're talking about him so basically just to try and find info or hint he may like her or something. Its really hard to explain but it isnt my place to tell her outright i juts wanna try and help by trying to find out stuff. Any ideas?
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female
reader, Susan Strict +, writes (30 May 2008):
 The problem with playing cupid is that your aim might be off.
It's all very well (continuing the metaphor!) to fire your cupid's arrows if you know exactly where they need to go and you've had plenty of practice at aiming them accurately. The trouble is that if you're not an expert they tend to end up in completely the wrong place. You may well shoot yourself in the foot.
Worse than that, you can't do this anonymously like we agony aunts have the opportunity to do. If it all goes horribly wrong, it will all be your fault and you don't have the chance to hide behind a screen name and just go "oops, sorry". You will be right in the middle of the muck and bullets helplessly waving your cupid's bow (yeah, I know; mixed metaphors now!) and muttering faintly about how you were only trying to help and how you had the best of intentions.
Playing matchmaker is a lovely thought, and shows how much you care about your friend. Just take a bit of time to think about how it could turn out if it doesn't work or if it all goes wrong a little later.
A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (30 May 2008):
 Hey, I've played matchmaker more than once in my life. Let me tell you about one that worked out, maybe it'll work for you too.
There was this guy I knew at work, and he fancied a girl who also worked there but in a different department. I could see that he really liked her, so I organized an evening out with a group of co-workers, and made sure that both of them came to it. I had to make a special trip to her area, and figure out a way to casually include her in the evening plans. I felt a bit awkward doing it, but I think I managed it without being TOO obvious. I tried to keep the group small enough so that it wouldn't be a mob scene, but large enough that it wasn't an obvious set-up. I think I wound up with 7 or 8 people in the group, can't remember exactly.
Well, they had a great chat that evening, and he was able to ask her out again, and well, eventually they got married and had children, but that's moving too fast and too far at your age. :D
So why not organize some kind of event that you can invite both of them to? Then let him do what he needs to do if he's really interested.
Now if that's too much bother, why not tell her that your male friend said something amusing the other day, and he made you laugh and he's such a great guy, don't you think so too? And then listen very closely to what she says.
Honestly, though, maybe the best thing for it is to have him ask her out himself?
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, happytochat  +, writes (30 May 2008):
So you are trying to find out if this girl likes your friend so you can tell him so he knows whether or not its safe to make a move on her??
You could start by casually bringing up the guy in conversations with her, and see how she speaks of him. You could also say things like 'isnt [insert guys name] such a great guy? i think he would make a great bf for a girl one day' and see if she agrees and what her reaction is.
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