A
male
age
30-35,
*h oh
writes:my best friend is lik my brother. we do everything together.One of the reasons we are so close is our philosiphy of what falling inlove is. we have both witnessed it and wen we shared our thoughts with each other we came to the same conclusion : pure, truthful, with out lust, putting the other person first, theyr on ur mind all the time..... and so onhis first love didnt go to well and it took him 4 years to get over herits the same story with me but i fell inlove affter and didnt completely understand wt he was going through until i actually went through it. but he helped me and it took a lot less than four years thankfully.now the problem is, is that he's fallen inlove again and asked the girl out. they went out for 3 months and then the girl sed it was over. since then they've been apart but he hasn't let go of her. I made him a promise that i wouldnt stop helping him with her, to get her back so they live happily to the end of their days.but in doing so, i fell in love with her too. and i nearly told her. But then i decided to lie to her and tell her i loved her like a sister rather than a life partner. i lied to my best friend too telling him the same thingits been 3 months since i told them that lie, and it seems like they are on the verge of getting bak together. She lets her hold him in his arms, kiss her cheek and her hand and i suppose i cant help but feel a huge amount of jealousy. Because i wanted to be that guy. So i told them both, that i lied about loving her like a sister, and that ive been inlove with her for nearly 3 months. They are my best friends, they are more family than what i have at home at the moment and i cant afford to lose that.because of me, my best friend is reconsidering whether its a good idea to get back and asked me if he should change how he acts with her because he doesnt want to hurt me and i feel as though i dont deserve to be loved by her in the way that i love her.it seems that im haunted by their past with each other and that he can do these things with her that i cant because i fell inlove to late..what should i do?i thought i made the right choice by lying so that she could be as happy as possible even if it meant that she couldnt be with me. and i dont wanna hurt my best friend because i know that nothing is more important than my brothership with him and her happiness. im really confused wt to do next... should i let time sort it out? should i tell him to as her out wen the time is right, ive cried through many sleepless nights wondering about it and i cant come up with an answer - can someone please help me?
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2008): Hi Hunny
You sound so sweet and grown up and you truely have a great friend there, You two are solid as a rock hunny, Sometimes in life when we come across a problem as this, Its a learning experience and you seem like your doing alot of that of late...If this were me Id think its hard I no and Im upset as it was not supposed to be this way. You didnt expect to fall inlove with your best mates g/f you got close by helping, So Id think of him and how it would feel if it were the other way round and this was your girl to start with and he fell inlove with her, Now as your so close he would probably say I love her but she is really your girlfriend mate as thats how it started and hunny I think although you are hurting right now to see your friend happy and his girl happy would in the end make you happy. Its hard hunny I no and you will feel pain as you care so much. But if you really think about it could you see yourself kissing and holding her infront of him without causing him pain. If your answer to that is no then let them be together sweetheart...And Im sure your friend being the person he is will be there for you...I do hope hunny this has helped its not going to solve your problem but it may put it in a different perspective TAKE CARE OF YOU WITH LOTS OF LOVE N HUGS MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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