A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My best friend is acting different now she's seeing someone (who i set her up with), she's fine during the day. But in the evenings she doesn't seem bothered if i'm out or not, normally we all go out in a big group but she's not fussed if us lot who she ALWAYS used to go out with are there. As long as the guy she is seeing is there, she's fine. And i'm happy for her and understand it! But i just feel left out...Because we always go out on nights together and she would harass me about going and how it'd be boring and she wouldn't want to go if i wasn't there. Which was really nice knowing she wanted me there, but now she doesn't seem bothered or like she could care less if i was there or not. Sometimes i feel she just asks me for the sake of it.I don't want to say this to her because it sounds petty and i'm happy for her, i know when you meet someone new and things are going great you just want to be with them. But i miss our nights out together and her wanting me there.... I don't know what to do?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2011): If it's a rather new relationship, just give it some time. Once it's not so "new," she might be more inclined to spend some time with you.
I know you feel like it'd sound terribly if you share your feelings, but I think you should share them with her anyway. Tell her you know it sounds petty and selfish, but honestly, you miss having her as your best friend.
Part of being in a healthy, successful relationship is to balance boyfriend time with friend time. No one is perfect at it, necessarily, but she has room to improve. Talking to her about your feelings not only makes your voice heard, but it could also help her relationship.
If she brushes you off, hang out with other friends instead of her. Maybe she'll get the picture.
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