A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My best friend is being beaten by the father of her baby.This is quite complecated so bear with me please.My friend had a baby a year ago with her then boyfriend, she has a flat and its ment to be for her and baby only but the dad lives there too. She doesnt like him and wants him to leave but he just wont, my friend doesnt like being on her own with the baby as she is a young mum and the baby was poorly in the first few months of its life, so in a way i think she does want him there. The thing is i noticed all bruises on her arms and legs, and when i asked she told me everything about the way he treats her, i think its disgusting and my advice was to move back in with her mum and dad but since having the baby they have sort of disowned her. I feel so useless, im ment to be her best friend and i dont know how to help her.Any advice would be much appreciated. Thanks.
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male
reader, rcn  +, writes (16 January 2008):
 He needs to be arrested. I know it's scary to be in an abusive situation. I was in one (I'm a male too) my ex has borderline personality disorder, which is not only verbally and physically abusive behaviors but if you just leave them they retalliate. I happened to find a safe way to end it and protect my children.
I'd ask her this. It's OK to choose to be with someone like this, if there is no one else involved. Then it's there personal choice. By staying there she's making a choice for her child that can influence the child into being violent themselves, having a low self esteem, choosing people with violent personalities to date as well.
She may not want to be alone, but the long term affect will be much worse than raising a child in a happy home, and watching them grow as they should.
I actually had my daughter wake me up, and when I asked her what she needed, she said she was checking to make sure my ex didn't stab and kill me. She was six at the time. She's now happy, she dances, and makes me do it too (all though not great), she's always smiling, and is going in a positive growing direction. If I was still there, she's still be afraid, and clingy. She'd cry when she knew it was time for my ex to come home.
Tell her if she loves her child, then she knows what needs to be done.
A
female
reader, duskyrowe +, writes (15 January 2008):
 Do yourself a great favour for your friend, tell her to go to the police and get this scumbag arrested. She is not only putting her life in danger but her child's. He is nothing but a vile bully and needs to be out of her life and put behind bars. This guy does not deserve to be a father, as this poor child is living in a very dangerous and volatile environment. Get Help Now Do Not Delay.
Dusky xxx
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