A
female
age
30-35,
*appy_Heart5
writes:Agony Aunts...I am in love with my best friend, he said he loves me too. But he has said he doesn't want a relationship now because he's not right emotionally.I am now seeing someone. He says it makes him feel sick to see me close with him. I want to wait for him but every week when we're out he'll often kiss and grind with other girls. He is drunk, but it still hurts and upsets me. So I know I'll get hurt waiting. But I have strong feelings for him. I have told him how I feel. He's now making me choose between the person I'm seeing and him. I want him but he said he didn't want a relationship not long ago. The person I'm now seeing has admitted to falling for me. I don't feel the same as I have feelings for my best friend. I don't know what to do.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2012): First off OP, it's not very nice of you to be dating a guy who is falling for you and that you feel nothing for because you love someone else. That's not fair on the guy you're seeing is it? That means you're basically using him in your idiotic little game with your emotionally retarded best friend.
Do the right thing and end it with this other guy, not for your best friends benefit but simply because what you're doing is selfish and unfair.
As far as your best friend goes OP, he says he wants to choose yet says he's not ready for a relationship, well don't settle for being messed around OP. He's either ready to give it a go or he's not but you really shouldn't waste your time or effort on a guy that doesn't know what he wants.
You can't keep playing these games as you're just getting hurt and you're going to keep getting hurt. He's either up for it or he isn't, no maybes, no I'm not ready's, none of that crap.
Regardless of what happens cut the other guy loose, you shouldn't use people like that.
A
male
reader, nonan +, writes (5 August 2012):
It sounds as if he's treating you unfairly. If he really knows that you hate him kissing/grinding with other girls and still does it, then he doesn't deserve you.
You definitely shouldn't ditch another guy for him.
However, re-evaluate your current relationship and if you honestly feel no attraction for the other guy, let him know. I'm not saying to break it up straight away but at least let him know there's a problem.
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