A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hi, i have got a serious problem about friendship.a year ago i moved to another city and made good frirbds and one become my closest friend,john. but later a girl who likes him came into picture and problems started between me and john. they are not in relationship but have become good friends. now i had no option to become frirnds with her too as we all are classmates. later i and the girl became good friends. but recently there have been many problems brtween me and john. and the girl is acting innocent like she hasnt done anything but she is creating problems very much. and they have become very good friends. i m very upset please give me some advice. i want to be bestiee with john again....on another note i would like to know if anyone can help in creating problems or differences between them..
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male
reader, Bill Maher  +, writes (1 March 2013):
Friends are replaceable. After college you will not keep the same friends. Of course, anyone that matters will stick around. There are over 6 billion people in the world. Do you know how many are named John? Find someone who shares your goals. Not your interests.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2013): If you want to be best friends with John, it appears you all have to bring all this out in the open. It seems that there is a competition going on between you and the girl for John's friendship and/or affection. Assuming you are all heterosexual (not that it matters) it seems you both have different reasons and ways in relating to John. First off, if you are best buds, you shouldn't let any female be a threat to your friendship. Unless the problem is, you both are actually competing for this guy.If your friendship with the girl phony, I think you need to come clean. Maybe she knows and there may be some complications. How can you be friends with this girl, if you suspect she is sabotaging your friendship with John? Have you related these feelings to her straight up? If you haven't, you should. You may be wrong.If you have evidence she is causing a rift between you two, then sit down and talk. If the problems aren't brought to the surface, the problem will continue until the friendship ends on bad note . My suspicions is, she likes him and wants you out of the picture. She considers you a threat and wants him all to herself. She sounds selfish. You need to sit down with your two friends and iron out the differences. It appears everyone is dealing under the table. Why? It appears she wants John to choose between you or her. You, on the other hand, seem willing to be friends with the both of them if that's what it takes.I take it you want advice on how to sabotage the relationship between John and the girl? If I'm interpreting your last sentence correctly? That sounds devious, and it could backfire. You said you had no choice but to become friends with her? You don't have to if you think she is a wedge between two buds. What are the problems between you and John? Her? Is he upset that you and she can't get along?My friend, some women can be possessive and protective of guys they really like or are attracted to. Especially when they feel threatened by a "bromance." She is struggling to build more than friendship with John. If they are sleeping together, you are really in for a fight. You are intruding on her time. If I were in this situation, I'd back off. She may be planting all sorts of crap in his head to push you out of the picture. That's not surprising. So what you'll have to do is stay on good terms with your bro, and give this girl the space she wants. It's up to John who he wants to spend more time with anyway. She's in the middle and she will use every tactic she can to keep things shook up.I'd say, move on. Find some new friends and keep in touch with John. Don't burn any bridges. Don't make enemies. "Hell hath no fury as a woman scorned!" She wants John for a boyfriend, and you're in the way. She may even suspect you want him for the same reasons she does. Possessive women imagine all sorts of scenarios when they're jealous. So, back out of this drama for a while. John will most likely miss you. It will also give whatever is going on between those two to spark or fizzle. No sense in fighting nature dude. She wants John and she has proven she'll fight for him. Don't compete with a chic for another dude, man!
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