A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:About 4 weeks ago I met a guy on the train. We kept glancing at each other the whole train ride and I thought to myself “I will never get a chance to speak to this guy” lol! Anyways we had to transfer on another train due to a problem so as I was walking out I saw him head in my direction as well. I hesitated as I got onto the other train because the seats were filled so I opted to stand. He shortly entered the train and approached me and said he sees two seats further down if I wanted to join. As soon as we began talking we clicked immensely and it felt good considering I haven’t been approached or clicked with a guy in a while since my last relationship ended in July. To cut a long story short, we ended up talking for the whole train ride. He asked for my number, we made each other laugh and kept staring at each other so seductively. But here's the killer – I asked him where he was headed on the train and he told me he was just getting back from visiting his girlfriend. (She lives about 3.5 hours away). Unfortunately the next stop we had to all get off was approaching so we got out the train and he just kept looking out for me making sure I didn’t get on the wrong train I needed to get on next. One gesture he made was touching my back to direct me to come or touching my wrist to look at my tattoo. It didn’t even seem awkward It almost seemed so natural as if I knew him for a while and just wanted to hold his hand and scratch his back or lean up against a wall and hug him as we were waiting for my train (sorry there was a lot of train confusion this day because something happen on the tracks further up our route so we were detoured all over). Eventually my new train arrived and I had to go. It ended up with him giving me a hug and saying goodbye. I didn’t want it to end ? . However he texted me shortly after I got off the train. He said I am so beautiful and how he thanks me for making the ride so bearable etc. and to text him back later if I want too. I in return felt the same so texted him back and said thanks to him as well and we began to continue the texting convo. We have been talking since to this day. He really wants to see me and hang so we are trying to make plans and he lives about 30 minutes away from me so it isn’t that bad. Now before all of you start saying stuff to me I know that it seems like I’m not doing the right thing by getting involved with a guy who has a girlfriend but it would absolutely kill me inside if I couldn’t talk to him and anyways he always texts me and such. He makes me want to spend more time with him and get to know him better. I can hardly to see him again - but I'm worried that at that point the story will repeat itself and we will have a fabulous time... but he will still be with his girlfriend. I plan to continue meeting lots of new people as I always do, but I find it frustrating when that 'click' of instant compatibility happens so rarely.PS- I mean just think, if he is just getting back from visiting his girlfriend and he is on the train and got my number, how serious is his relationship with her? If he truly cared he wouldn’t do that. Advice or kind words please! And do not bash me saying thing about his girlfriend etc.!!
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male
reader, Yos  +, writes (2 March 2013):
 You are both clearly in full flirt mode.
Hypothetical question for you: imagine you see him again, have a great time, and end up sleeping with him.
What's the plan then?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2013): Hold yourself to a higher standard. Right now, you're second best. Is that what you want? While there are obviously several problems going on here, the worst problem is that you've shown him that you don't care that he has a girlfriend. In the long term, guys don't want girls like that because its apparent to them that they don't have respect for themselves. So you've already been cut from his potential future girlfriend list.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (2 March 2013):
 It sounds like you got a great ego boost from him and enjoyed the fantasy-building imaginings of what could be. Now why do you feel so badly about yourself that you'd tolerate being hit on by a guy who is basically a cheater?
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A
male
reader, Bill Maher +, writes (1 March 2013):
The better question is how serious is his relationship with you. What are you thinking? love at first sight? That does not happen. But does he want to have sex with you? Of course! Will he leave his steady girlfriend? No. will you be a third wheel that gets used and dumped. Yes. Or will he dump his girlfriend? If he does, imagine how easily he will dump you for the next girl.
Harsh. I know. Just saying, obviously you will do what you will. Be cautious.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (1 March 2013):
 You wrote, "I can hardly to see him again - but I'm worried that at that point the story will repeat itself and we will have a fabulous time... but he will still be with his girlfriend." That is exactly what you may be facing, lots of great fun but in the end he goes back to his girlfriend. If you truly want to save yourself some major pain, tell him you really would love to hang out with him and he should look you up AFTER and only AFTER he no longer has a girlfriend. Do not contact him until he does indeed let you know he is single again.
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