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female
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*sh.green
writes: Ok guys, I've got a weird one for you. One of my best friends used to talk to my now-boyfriend. She used to love him (well not exactly, like a friend love).This guy and I have been going out for close to 4 months, so not really that long, but we feel comfortable around each other.Now, about my friend. She doesn't like my boyfriend any more, in fact she hates him. He now hates her too because people are saying spread a rumor about us - I don't believe it. I've told her that we're going out, but she didn't react at all, except for making a face, and said 'Well, personally I would never go out with him. I dont care.' And she stormed off. I knew she hated him, but I thought she'd be happy for me now that I'm a lot happier myself. She wasn't, and she took it very personally. That upset me a bit. I guess I feel like I'm holding back because of this friend.My question: How can I explain to my friend that it wasn't personal? How can I get my guy to understand why I like hanging out with my friend?Thanks, .Ash.
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2006): like people say there's a thin line between 'love and hate' i don't really think your friend really hated you boyfriend i think she's was attracted to him but her bad mouthin him to you just shows her how jealous she is. you shouldn't have to choose between a friend and boyfriend as friend are meant to be there for you
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2006): Well it seems like your friend is being very unsupportive. What sort of friend is one who says outright that they hate your boy friend. Explain to both of them how the relasionship/friendship makes you happy and a real boyfriend/friend should be more supportive.
Hope that helps. Best wishes fairy help-a-lot
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2006): The answer to your problem is to stop trying. There's no reason your best friend and bf need to like each other, and you're probably fighting a losing battle trying to make them. That said, you have every right to tell them to get their acts together.
You've chosen your bf, and he makes you happy. That is all your best friend needs to know. Next time it comes up, make it very clear that, while you don't need for her to pretend to like him if she actually doesn't, you expect her to be nice. You care about him, and you won't put up with her bad-mouthing him to her. That's not something a friend does. She can get over it. Try not to be mean about it, but you should be very firm.
The same thing goes for your bf. He doesn't have to like your friends - they're YOUR friends, not his. But he does have to be civil and refrain from putting you in any difficult situations.
They both need to grow up. Demand that of them.
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