| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: My boyfriend of about a year recently decided that he wants to work on a ship which would be for about 4 months at a time. Just thinking about him leaving makes me sick to my stomach. I'm still at that point in the relationship where I don't want to spend a moment away from him. We both love each other very much and I don't think I could stand to see him go. It's not that I don't trust him, but just that I would be living alone and without talking to him for so long. I really want him to be happy and don't want to keep him from doing what he wants, but if I could just get him to wait another year before he leaves, I would feel much better about it. He thinks I am over-reacting (which I'm sure I could be) but I'm just so stressed that he might leave. What should I do? I think I just need more time. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2006): your not over reacting you love him and feel you need to spend every moment with him. i know how you feel but do you really believe you should have the right to stop his dreams this is something he wants to do. i know you dont want to be with out him or lose him but if you don't support him you very well may lose him. what you asking him to do is unfair. i know it'll be hard but when your in love, you have to put your lover before yourself most of the time. support him, allow him to do this he'll love you more if you do. don't hold him back you may lose his love.
i'm sure theres ways of you two of keeping in contact.....i know your fears but try to see things from his point of view.
A
male
reader, d4u04  +, writes (12 March 2006):
 I agree that you need more time but at the same time you need to respect your boyfriends wishes, if he wants to go i believe you should try and be happy for him and remind him that you'll still be there for him when he gets back, I know it's hard having gone through something similar myself but in the long run he will thank you for it. I also believe that every relationship at some point needs to be tested in one way or another to re-affirm that it's a healthy relationship, it's understandable that you don't want to be away from him, and you say you've been going out for about a year, if you can't do it now, there's nothing to say your mind will change in another years time, you might feel exactly the same and be in the same position as you are then.
Let him go if that is what he really wants but be sure within yourself that you won't completely fall apart without him, abscence makes the heart grow fonder after all and you might have a better relationship at the end of it when he returns home.
I hope i haven't confused you more
...............................
|
