A
male
age
36-40,
*icente07
writes:Hello,My little dog died last January 9th and I feel terrible, guilty and extremely lost.I really need some help because I feel terrible and I don't know how I am going to get over this situation.I try to rescue stray dogs to then find them a happy home and I have tried to find a home for a Golden Retriever for 6 months. He has been in a pet care for months and every two days I went with my French Poodle to pick him up and take them for a walk.I was outside a Vet with my little French Poodle, The Golden and a little Cocker Spaniel my brother rescued. Everything was ok and I have them with their own leash. Suddenly, my little dog growled at the Golden and jumped over him to attack him. The golden just put his body above my dog and I separated them almost immediately. The problem is that my dog fell unconscious with his tongue outside the muzzle. The Vet tried to save him, gave him a shot, revived him and then nothing. My dog died.I feel terrible. He was my best friend, my life. I feel I could have prevented this from happening and this makes me feel guilty and miserable.My dog was 7 years old and had lung and heart failure that made him snore, have breathing attacks and get tired easily after running. I don't know if it was a combination of all these problems and if he wasn't going to be able to life for many more years and these problems caused his heart attack.I really need some advice and support because this dog was the best thing in my life. I have OCD and my life has been horrible for years and this little dog gave me moments of happiness.My mental condition makes this tragedy tougher and I don't know what to do. This was just the last straw to complete my miserable life. I wasted my twenties, I have no friends, no job, no life. My dog was the creature that cared the most about me and loved me with all my problems unconditionally.One of his ex Vets told me today that due to his health condition, his life expectancy wasn't very optimistic and that dogs like him life 40% less than healthy dogs. In spite of this, I just can't rest and I feel that I took 10 years of his life away from him and that I also took my dad's dog away from him since G (my dog) was very important to him too and he is very sad. Seeing him like this makes me feel very bad and worsens everything.I really need some advice and support because this dog was the best thing in my life. I have OCD and my life has been horrible for years and this little dog gave me moments of great happiness. My mental condition makes this tragedy tougher and I don't know what to do. He was my best and only friend. He was my life and the one that brightened my life.I feel lonely and I am alone despite I live with my brother and my mom.I just miss walking him, seeing him on my bed, knowing he is behind my bathroom door waiting for me to get out and take him for a walk, seeing how happy he got when he saw his necklace, hear his little bell and saw his leash. I miss him in my car because he went almost everywhere with me. He was my best friend And the fact of knowing the things won't happen anymore is horrible. I go over the event over and over again and it's overwhelming and makes me feel miserable many times.This dog was extremely special for me me because my parents separated last May and the previous years there were many fights in my house and this little dog gave us great moments of joy, hope and he even brought the family together and even delayed my parents' separation. My little G (my dog) reached this level of importance and power. The situation became unbearable and my parents finally split up. I was very worried for my dog because he was extremely attached to my dad and seeing him waiting for my dad to get home on the stairs looking at the living room window and knowing my dad was no longer come back home made me feel terrible. The first days were very tough, but fortunately my dad and I managed a way to allow G (my dog) to spend time with my Dad and we developed a routine centered around him. Every day My dad and I met between 7 and 9pm whether in a department store, a café or my uncle's house to give G (my dog) to him so that he could spend time with my dad and continue sleeping on the bed overnight, just how he used to do it when my dad still lived with us.Then my dad gave G (my dog) back to me in the morning and he spent the whole day with me. This is also something that I am having trouble realizing it's not part of my routine anymore and makes this harder to deal with.Everyday I got back home with G (my dog) in the morning and he jumped to my bed. Then, I took a shower and he waited for me outside the bathroomWe had several customs like these and it's terrible to know this doesn't happen anymore and have to readjust my life.I don't know what I am going to do and when I am finally going to accept that my dog is gone and move on. My brother asked me If I wanted another French Poodle Mini Toy, but I don't know if this could be right because the comparisons would be unavoidable. On the other hand, one of G (my dog)'s ex Vets suggested today that I get a new dog of a similar size as soon as possible to relief the loss of G (my dog) and other people tell me to adopt The Golden Retriever considering I know that dog who is very noble and he really needs a loving home since he has had several unsuccessful adoptions and he shows symptoms of sadness sometimes due to his life history and the fact that he was mistreated in one of the houses where he was adopted and he has been in several places houses and dog care centers, giving him emotional instability.I hope I can get wisely advised and I make the right decision about whether to get a new dog, what kind of dog or just forget about having dogs Could you please help me? I feel lost and these last today the pain has got worse Thank you very much in advance for your answers
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2015): so sorry about your dog, but animals are unpredictable in their behaviour, so it is pointless to think you could have anticipated/or prevented what happened. It is just a freak accident.I am terrified of anything happening to my horse, because she is old and I have had her a long time, but that is part of having a pet, you know it will die before you, even if it lives a long life. Animals lives are so short compared to ours.But the important thing is you gave your dog a nice life and an owner who really loved him and lots of animals arn't that lucky as I'm sure you know.Get something special to remember your dog, a photo/have a painting done etcKeep working with the rescue dogs. It would be would be a shame not to keep dogs in your life and you are doing a good thing. In time maybe you will feel ready to take on a new dog, I hope so because you sound like a lovely owner for a dog to have :)
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2015): My heart truly goes out to you for your terrible loss. I don't think there's anything I can say that will make things seem alright again. But you are a kind, good soul and I'm sorry that you have to experience such heartache.
I'm sure your dog loved you with all his heart and that he was so much happier with you than he could have been otherwise.
I know it's hard to think about right now, but I hope that in the future you feel ready to open your heart and home to another dog in need. They will be so lucky to have you as a friend.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2015): I'm so sorry about the loss of your beloved dog. He is still with you in your heart and your memories and he is watching over you now I'm sure as you mourn his loss. Give yourself time to grieve and when you feel ready consider sharing your love with another dog who needs a home and your love, there are so many who are in need. It is painful but you're going to feel better eventually, you will always miss him. Talk to your family and friends about your feelings.
The Rainbow Bridge
Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.
When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.
All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.
They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.
You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.
Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....
Author unknown...
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A
female
reader, Midnight Shadow  +, writes (19 January 2015):
 I'm sorry you went through this :/
Maybe you could get a locket and put his picture in it?
Also, if you decide to get another dog, I wouldn't advise a puppy because there are so many rescues who would desperately need your love and reciprocate it.
I think you should get counselling to deal with your loss and also how to get a firm handle on your OCD, so that you can feel like you have a better, more satisfying life - you know your beloved dog would have wanted that for you, if he could have understood.
I felt guilty for several months when my hamster died. We have cats, so I asked if they were outside and were told that they were. I shut the door to the lounge and let my hamster run around. We'd only had him for just under two weeks, but he'd already stolen our hearts because he was just a baby and always wanted to be cuddled and played with. I made him tunnels, mazes, "castles", etc. out of cardboard and he loved them, but one of the cats wasn't outside when everyone thought they were, so it got my hamster.
I'd only turned for a minute to empty my hamster's ball and I heard it. I screamed and my dad ran to the top of the stairs, whilst I ran to the bottom. It scared my cat into dropping my hamster and he walked off. I cradled my hamster and he was silent. He had no visible wounds (which would have been a thousand times worse to see), but he must have been scared to death :(
I have played it over and over in my head, SO many times, desperately wishing I'd have known the cat was hiding (he doesn't normally) and wasn't outside. I was devastated; I was the reason my baby hamster died when he was supposed to live for another 2 years. I wanted to blame my cat for doing it, but I knew that I didn't because it was his nature.
I spent about 6 months or so blaming myself any time I saw pictures of my hamster and then I realised that I'd just have to stop thinking in depth about it because it wasn't fair to myself. I couldn't have known the cat was in the room because everyone was sure he wasn't even in the house and I checked everywhere the cats normally go and they weren't there.
If I woke up tomorrow and it was 5 minutes before that happened and I had this knowledge, I could undo it (I wouldnt, because we've rehomed rescued hamsters and gerbils since, that we wouldn't have been able to if he'd still been alive) - but I could undo it because I'd have known, just like you could have if you'd known, but there was NO WAY you could have known and stopped it happening.
You did everything right by your dog. It will hurt a hell of a lot for a while, but it will gradually fade as you start to "let yourself off the hook" for it and allow yourself to see that it wasn't your fault and dwelling on the bad won't help you.
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A
female
reader, Abella  +, writes (19 January 2015):
 You have lost your beloved dog and it's still too soon to be able to see the future while you are grieving so much for your dog. Your dog was particularly loyal to you and you meant the world to your dog.
It is amazing that your dear dog survived for 7 years despite serious complications with Heart and Lung problems and his snoring meant that at any time snoring suggests that many times his breathing was compromised during the night. It was your care and your loyalty that kept your dog alive longer than would be expected with all those health problems. You did well to care so well for your dog.
For some reason your dog possibly felt threatened in some way by the other dogs. In that split second it was more than his ailing heart could bear. It is most unlikely that he would have lived to be 14 or more. And sadly with his heart and lung issues he could have died at any time.
Seven Dog years for a poodle is equal to a "senior" dog so at seven years life was only going to get a little harder from them on.
Sometimes we have to accept that we did everything right and everything we could to do the best for our pet.
In your case a Vet was nearby. The vet did everything to save your dog, but your dog's health was already compromised. you did nothing wrong.
You ensured that your dog was well cared for and loved and that it was socialised well.
Allow yourself a time to grieve and do get some counselling on grief for you as soon as possible.
You will feel miserable for a while. But there are some beautiful special dogs out there that need a home. When you are ready do consider the Vet's advice. Get a puppy.
Choose a breed known for their longevity.
We are "lent" our pets to love and care for them. They cannot stay with us forever. Children and adults alike all suffer horribly when a much loved pet dies.
About the only creatures that can live much longer than ourselves are some that are not candidates for captivity. Plus such animals cannot be as warm and friendly as a dog.
Whales can live for 200 years. Fresh Water turtles can live for 75 years or more.
A flamingo can live 30 to 50 years in the wild and longer in captivity. Some parrots like a Macaw can live 100 years in captivity.
If you want to research which animals will be with you the longest then this guide might help:
http://www.newton.dep.anl.gov/natbltn/400-499/nb486.htm
Generally Poodles do live longer than some breeds, but not if they have the sort of health challenges that your dog had.
In order to heal you do need to try to forgive yourself. Since you did nothing wrong.
Here is a guide to grief to read as it may help you to understand that there are stages to grief.
http://www.helpguide.org/articles/grief-loss/coping-with-grief-and-loss.htm
Allow yourself to heal at your pace. A pace that suits you.
If you get stuck on any stage then seek professional support.
Make an appointment with your Doctor if the pain continues to get worse in the next 24 hours. Your Doctor can help you.
I think the Vet gave you very good advice. you are fortunate to know such a caring Vet.
Do not be bothered by uncaring people who say that you cannot be grieving because it was a dog not a person. What do they know? Nothing useful indeed. Because grief can affect a person if it is the loss of a relationship, a loss of a job, and most certainly the loss of a much loved dog.
Uncaring people have no place advising you when clearly you are so very sad and grieving about the loss of your dog.
As you work through the stages of grief you will slowly come to feel better.
Do you have a photo of your dog?
Could you frame it and put it up for you to see?
This terrible loss has happened and be thankful that you were with your dog at the end.
Denial: “This can’t be happening to me.”
Try to do some things that calm you as right now your emotions are very raw and you may feel very upset and hurt that you have lost your dog. Yet it is no one's "fault" and no one is to "blame"
Your Doctor can help you with your depression over this.
If you keep on trying to reclaim your life then one morning you will realise that you already to move on. Your dog is in a peaceful place. But your dog would not want you to give up.
Your dog would probably applaud your decision if later on you rescued another dog instead
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