| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: I'm 18 and I have been with my boyfriend for 1 year and 2 months. I love him with all my heart and we are going to have a baby in 3 months. The thing is that he always thinks that I'm being untrue to him and we can't even have sex without him stopping and telling me he can't because he can't help but feel that I'm thinking of anther. So because of this he doesn't want to be with me anymore. It's not that he doesn't love, me he would do anything just to see me happy, and I know he will be the best daddy to our baby. I just can't stand him not wanting us to be together. He stays up till 5,6,7 in the morning crying to his friend Josh that he would do anything for me to love him. I think what is messing with him is that I was once with a girl and before I knew he liked me I was with one of his friends. I told him I wasn't when he asked he because I was afraid of losing him.I dont know what to do to fix us because we both love one another. I just don't know what to do to let him know. Will any of you help me? I don't want the love of my life and baby's daddy to leave because of something I did before we were together. Thank you Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2008): I am a 24 year old female and just found out I'm pregnant.
my babys father does not want me to keep it and i told him that is not an option, this is a gift from god.
I think now he is starting to come around better but is not mentally supporting me as i hoped for, he is going out alot and drinking as i sit at home depressed about him and whats going on in his head. I have lots of support through my family and that i am very grateful for. I thought before this all happened that i could not have children now I am and would'nt give it up for the world. I would greatly appreciate any advice you can give me. Thanks
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2006): It sounds like you're b/f is very insecure. I would say perhaps he needs some counselling? Also, I don't mean to cast aspersions but recreational drugs can create insecurities and paranoia. I had a b/f who was deeply affected because of this. Also, early childhood experiences can have an effect on how we relate to our loved ones. Counselling could help him come to terms with this if this is a problem.
...............................
A
male
reader, Mr.Ed +, writes (17 January 2006):
 I think if you really need ideas to show him you love him then show him this web site and your letter. Show him your willing to go above and beyond what is required of you; from a relationship. Tell him in addition to this; obviously your pregnant. This may sound stupid to both of you, however past experience has taught me several things, one of which is youth and pregnancy don't mix. You missy need to remain calm and relaxed; especially the last trimester. He needs to be very supportive and cooperative. You two are way to young for all this petty b/s. You have a life together and need to learn that the past is just that; THE PAST. If you don't believe me, try changing it. Try to communicate (without arguing) about everything, your hopes, dreams, fantasies, thoughts, ambitions and especially your feelings for each other. This should be a joyous time for the two of you, not the other way around. After this baby is born, you will not have alot of time to learn how to communicate with each other and that will annoy both of you.
You will inevitably make stupid comment's like "I wish we could go back to the way we were", when right now you don't have a way to be. Focus on each other and make a plan of how to grow together. If you don't, I will promise you; you'll grow apart.
He also needs your re-assurance that you are going to make a total commitment to him and the baby. You need him to stop worrying so much and just handle HIS business. Being a man WILL never be easy, but with a good woman by your side, you can be a great DADDY (not father) and you can be a great HUSBAND (someday), if you learn to settle down, take a breath and focus on what's the most important (trust me it's not yourself). A wise person once said, "a happy wife is a happy life" I know because I am always trying it. Good luck with your newest family member. The point of showing him this web site is to inform him that many, many people have way more big problems than worrying about how much love to give/get. They worry about what to do when they lose another person because of thier failure to communicate.
Sincerely
Ed
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2006): You have to show him that he is worthy of your love like be romantic fix him dinner and stuff run his bath water im not saying to do this all the time b/c then he will expect but sometimes he needs you to show all of your love for him.
...............................
A
male
reader, Dazzerg  +, writes (16 January 2006):
 I know your intetions were pure but he is probably having trouble believing you now because of what you had previously told him turning out not to be correct. This seems to have acted as a catylyst to his insecurities.
These are what you have to work at overcoming. He is talking to his friend which is good but he needs to actually work through his insecurities. Maybe what you need to do is say that you accept he is scared that you are thinking of another, reassert that you are not and ask for a chance to prove yourself to him. Prove to him that he is the only one for you.
Do loads of big and small things to reassure him and that demonstrate affection. Cook his favorite meal. Also reassure him that he makes you happy.
Recognise that you cannot win this overnight but be trenchent in your pursuit of the goal of winning back his trust. If all else fails then maybe couples counselling may help. Hope that this helps.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2006): Your bf sounds depressed; tell him to see a dr and ask if that's a possibility.
Other than that, it sounds like the only thing you can do is go out of your way to give him every assurance that you're crazy about him and couldn't possibly have feelings for anyone else.
...............................
|
