A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have kids with a guy. And he has a new girlfriend but he still sends me flowers. And cards, still texts me he misses me. And I have started dating someone new. I have told my boyfriend and he is mad. I can't stop talking to him or cut him out of my life forever. He calls and talks to my kids and gets mad when I don't want to talk to him when he is done talking to them. I am just in need of some advice on what to do. I am happy with my new guy, and I am done with my ex. I want to be happy with my new guy how do I get my ex to stop doing these things? Help me!!
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (13 May 2013):
 If he is the father of your children you may have to speak to him...
my advice, when he calls to speak to the children, let him,
when he is done and he asks to speak to you get on the phone and say "hello" and then when he starts talking to you say "do you have any child care concerns to discuss with me?" when he says "no" you can say... "ok then the kids will speak to you next time you call them BYE NOW" and HANG UP before he can say anything.
IF he calls back answer the phone (don't put the kids in the middle) and say "hello" when he starts in again you can say again "do you have anything specific to the children's activities or support you need to discuss?" and he will say "NO" and then you say "ok so when you have something specific to child care, child support or child visitation, let me know, BYE NOW" AND HANG UP
KEEP doing that word for word and do not deviate from the script EVERY TIME he calls. He will get the message.
As for the flowers decline them when they arrive, cards in the mail are marked "REFUSED return to SENDER"
trashing them does not send a message to him as he has NO clue you trash them. RETURN TO SEND-REFUSED sends a good message.
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (12 May 2013):
 You can't do a darn thing to "keep your Baby Daddy from sending you things"..... What you CAN DO, is not react to those things that he sends you... AND continue to ignore the useless b**tard.... (BUT, don't forget to let him keep making payments to help pay for the kids that you and he spawned!!!!)......
YOU don't "owe" him a darned thing.... AND, you ARE entitled to get on with your life.....
SOOoooo, IGNORE HIM!!!!!!!!!! THAT will set you free, ultimately....
Good luck....
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A
female
reader, Dear Mandy  +, writes (12 May 2013):
 HI
It's really quite simple, tell him " you are the father of our children and that's it, if you can't except I have moved on with my life as have you then I will have no other choice but to arrange supervised visits and have a restraining order put on you"......I know it seems a little harsh, but sometimes you need to put your foot down with certain people or you will lose your new BF and he will control your life forever. Cut the strings, change YOUR mobile number, arrange a sutible time for him to call the children(on the home phone) so when he does call the kids can answer the phone to him. It's never easy when parents split up and the children can be effected by this so make sure you NEVER slag your ex off in front of the children. Also how do the children get on with your new BF? Also any time your ex sends you gifts send them straight back. If the flowers get delivered tell the courier you don't want them and to send them back to sender. You MUST keep up with it. Document everything, when he calls YOU , texts, sends gifts, so if he don't stop harrassing you , you will have evidence of this. But i'm sure it wont go that far and he will eventually get the hint. As for your new BF he must understand that your EX is bound to feel threatend by a new man around his kids, as he will eventually be a main farther figure to them if things work out between you. He needs to control how he feels about your ex in front of your children too, or they will resent YOU for bringing him into their lives. Is your EX's new GF aware of whats going on?
Also how long have you been broken up with your ex?
Mandy x
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