My b oyfriend has anger towards me for my past.

A female age 41-50, anonymous writes:

"OPs Own Title"My boyfriend has anger towards me for my past. Most days are wonderful - we have a great time together, enjoy doing the same things, and want the same things out of life - marriage and children. But, the anger builds up (he says that he thinks about it all the time) and he randomly blows up at me - drilling me with insulting questions, accusing me of lying, and telling me that my past is gross - that he doesn't want his future wife/mother of his children to be the type of person who would do that. He blames his ex. She lied to him many times about her past - the stories getting worse and worse. She had slept with women, had a threesome with strangers on vacation, slept with over 40 people, and had two STDs. I hate being compared to her - but he says we are so much alike. I have slept with 16 people - never had sex with a woman - and kind of had one threesome. It was MFF -two close friends of mine. they had just started sleeping together - the three of us went out - drank too much - 30 seconds into it I felt uncomfortable and I got apologized, got up, left the room, and slept on the couch. He asks me about it almost everyday - he is always trying to catch me in a lie. I don't think that it should even qualify as a threesome. He says that he wants to get over it. His built up anger over it causes him to not trust me. He always wants me to dress conservatively. When I wear something sexy (even on a private date with him) he says that he doesn't understand why I want that kind of attention. When he has what we call an "episode" he will yell at me about the threesome - how could I have done that - its so dirty and gross. That other people look at what I'm wearing and think "what a slut." (and I really don't dress trashy - i swear!) He asks me the same questions over and over and over. He says that he wants to get over it. He wants to release his anger towards me. He wants to marry me - he thinks that we are meant to be together. He says that all the abuse and mistrust all comes from his anger about the threesome. He is very aware that he is emotionally abusive - he hates it - and he really hates it when I'm acting like I have been abused. I tell him that he can't upset me, then get mad at me for being upset. My question is, will he ever get over it? Sometimes I feel like if it wasn't that, it would be something else. But again, our good days are great. He is loving and kind. we love doing the same things - and I love him - I love his family - If everyday could be a good day - I would want to spend the rest of my life with him. But randomly the anger builds up and he has another episode. At what point should I give up? What can I do to help him let go of his anger towards me? Please help!

View related questions: emotionally abusive, her past, his ex, std, threesome

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