A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend of one year was recently involved in an accident at work. He needs much time to recover and most of his face is bandaged due to heavy burns. His body has been badly damaged and he needs plenty of rest but he'll be fine. But I'm so afraid of what I might see when the bandages finally come off! The doctors say the damage is bad. It could be worse than I imagine. What if he looks so different I don't love him anymore?
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female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (4 July 2012):
 Well do you only love your boyfriend because of the way he looks? Or are you in love with him for WHO HE IS?
If you only love him for his looks and dont really care much about his personality, then you should own up to him now that you are a very shallow person and that you were only with him for his looks so you have to end the relationship.
If you are actually a nice human being and dont care about looks because personality is more important - then you are not going to have any problems. Be thankful that the man you love is alive and will get better, be thankful that you have not lost him and feel lucky to know that he will be fine.
Yes he is going to look different, and you would not be a bad person if you are shocked and upset for the first few months. But medicine and science have come a long way and there are lots of treatments and surgery that he will be able to have to get him looking better. Try googling 'katie piper' - she is a female here in the UK who was the victim of an acid attack and she has made an amazing transformation, from what were very severe burns to looking absolutely incredible again. There will be many years of work involved mind you, so dont expect him to look better quickly, and dont expect him to ever look the same again.
This will be a big test of you as a person - its not going to be easy, but if you truly love him as a person then you wont care about his looks. He will still be the same person inside, and eventually you will get used to his new face and body. He will have surgery and perhaps try some additional treatments to heal his burns, so with time and support he may start to look better again. But you are going to have to be very patient, very supportive and look past the scars, and focus on what is inside.
Think of it this way - how would you feel if you had an accident and your looks were gone, would you expect your boyfriend to leave you? Or would you hope that because he loves you as a person he would not care about the burns and he would want to be with you to help you through a really difficult time?
If you dont think you are up to it and are not strong enough, and that looks are very important to you - then the kindest thing you can do is leave him. Delaying ending the relationship will only make it harder for him, so you would have to do it sooner rather than later.
Have a think about it, long and hard and decide what kind of person you are.
I hope this helps and good luck!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2012): If you don't love him because of his physical appearance then you never truly loved him and he is much better off with someone who is not shallow.
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