A
female
age
30-35,
*issxmexagainx
writes:Hi. I'm in a great relationship with a guy that I'm completely in love with. we really don't have any problems with our relationship except we both get jealous. That has never really been a problem though, since we both are pretty jealous, we both understand how the other feels. Well anyways, here's my issue.I guess you can say that I'm bisexual [I don't say that because I don't like to label my sexuality, but I find it easier to explain if I just say I'm bi] and and I have been with a lot of girls. In fact, before my current boyfriend, I've actually preferred girls. Well lately I've been missing the feeling of kissing/making out/maybe more with a girl. My boyfriend is aware of this and and has no problem with it. He actually said I can hook up with a girl if I want to.. as long as he can watch. That way, we both win. It sounds great to me on paper, but here's the problem: I would end up getting so jealous of the girl and and end up hating her. and and this is just for him watching! I can't stand the thought of him looking at another girl..also, he suggested having a threesome with another girl [of my choice] where he wouldn't even touch her, and and I would be the center of attention. sounds hot, right? He says he doesn't even want to touch anyone but me because I'm too special to him. but still I would get jealous. he would too, if it were a guy that I was looking at, but he doesn't like guys so it's a little different. I love him so much and and he loves me and and I know this is something that really turns him on and and he also wants me to be happy. what should I do??ps- sorry this is so long, but it is all necessary to understand my position.
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jealous, kissing, threesome Reply to this Question
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female
reader, kissxmexagainx +, writes (5 March 2009):
kissxmexagainx is verified as being by the original poster of the question thank you so much everyone. I've decided not to do it. it's not like either one of us is bored && we both only want to be with the other person. I know I'll miss sex with girls, but I don't really care anymore, I love him && only him && that's all that matters.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2009): I am a jealous person too. I am also the sort of person who when i fall in love the person is my everything. Let's change this issue around a bit ok? Imagine that what you misss something with a guy, something your man cannot provide. Would you consider it hurtful to tell him? Would you expect him to help you find the man to fill this void? I think not. Basically you are with him, love him and have a child with him. Leave the past where it belongs. Introducing a third person into your relationship is not a good idea. Enjoy what you have. I wish our little family happiness.
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A
female
reader, kissxmexagainx +, writes (3 March 2009):
kissxmexagainx is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you very much. I don't feel it's a stage, I just miss certain things about being with girls. I have always liked girls and guys && never questioned it. it's not so much as experimentation as it is expressing my sexuality.
&& I'm not worried about losing him, I honestly believe that he doesn't want anyone but me, && he's the only one I want to be in a relationship with. I just get so jealous over the thought of him looking at another girl.
but I still would like to be with a girl. I would never do it behind his back. I really love him, he's the father of my child && we plan on getting married.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2009): I think you should determine how much of a stringent need this is, to experiment on a sexual level with another girl. There are certain prerequisites for a relationship to deal succesfully with a threesome. One of them is not to have jealousy issues. Therefore I think it would not be an advantage to try this. However, if what you feel is an imperative need to have sex with a girl, maybe you are in a stage where you shouldn't be committed to just one partner, and should discuss this with your partner in case he agrees to relabel your relationship as an open one. The crux here is how strong this feeling is and how frustrating it is also not being able to satisfy it. It is possible that it is only a stage you are going through that you have to feed, let it grow and finally grow out of it. Of course you could also choose to do it secretly but that would not be fair, would it? To sum it all up, you can decide to go ahead and let your fantasies loose with the risk of losing your boyfriend if he doesn't agree to you experimenting all alone or keep him at least for the moment in case ignoring these feelings can have side effects. Maybe it is also possible these tensions will fade without your "help" but only you can know how urgent and intense they are. All the best.
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A
female
reader, Annieapple  +, writes (3 March 2009):
Don’t do it! You can already see the problems it will cause. Try and spice up your sex life with your boyfriend by trying new things with him and only him. Since you are both so jealous I can’t imagine how introducing a third party would do any good at all!
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