A
female
age
41-50,
*ox44
writes:So heres my story 4 years ago i started dating this guy who i left my husband for. We have known each other for about 10 years and he was my best friend. He just got out of a relationship and we started dating and i left my husband. I also have a 5 year old that basically grew up with him. Another factor to add to our life is that he lives 100 miles away. For 3 years it was perfect. We talked about family we talked about living together we were very close. We only saw each other on the weekends which was very difficult but the talk of how we would be together once i was done school always made it easier. Well about a year ago i was done school and looking for a job. I brought up the possibility of moving with him and looking for a job in that area. Seemed the smart thing to do. He had a house i did not...i was living with my mother until i finished school. I thought it would be silly to get my own place when we had already talked about being together once i was finished. Well everything went out of the window when i brought it up. He was like absolutely not will we move in there...like we never even brought up this possibility before. After that i blew a gasket. Yelling at him how could he lie to me for 3 years telling me he wanted something he didnt. A lot was said on both parts and things really havent been the same since. We broke up about 3 months ago officially but we do get together every so often. I believe even after all that was said and all the bs that we are meant to be together. He says he doesnt want to be with me but calls every now and then telling me he misses me. I love him very much and he is my best friend so of course i meet up with him. I dont know if i should just go along with this every now and then deal we have going and hope that it leads to something or should i just walk away. I just dont know how he can bs me for 3 years telling me we are going to be together and not mean any of it. Not because he was my boyfriend but because he was my best friend.
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male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (3 May 2012):
 Two phrases in your submittal stand out to me:
1. "....this guy who i left my husband for...." WHY would any woman leave her husband (and her marriage) "for" a guy who hasn't really indicated that he's going to be there to cushion the fall?????
2. "....I love him very much and he is my best friend so of course i meet up with him." Does this mean that you and he have s*x? If "yes" then you've put yourself in to a situation which has NO reasonable/desireable/comfortable conclusion for you..... He's got (is getting) what he wants... and your life and feelings are "collateral damage"...
Sorry.... Good luck....
A
female
reader, oldbag  +, writes (3 May 2012):
 Hi
I dont know how you could WANT contact with him when he has strung you along for 3 years.Thats not what friends or lovers do when they care.He is just a bad habit now that you need to break.
You have finished school and now is the time,for you and your child, to start afresh without this man in your life.
Just because you left your husband for him doesnt mean its a guarantee he was going to be with you both.He has had the weekends with you,had you dangling there waiting, but doesnt want commitment, thats very clear.
Break the contact and stop meeting up with him he has shown his true colours and there is no future there.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2012): First of all guys are very sensitive and I know this one case where they were together dating 5 years before anything happened. Guys just don't want to get hurt and I think that he wasn't reday for you to move in just yet so he denied it so he wouldnt be embrassed. If you love him go for it, ask him the worst he could say Is no and you only have one life make I the best I really hope it helps and I am sorry about your fight
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