A
female
age
30-35,
*b00th14
writes:im 17 years old and i have been dating my boyfriend, 18 for almost 2 and a half years. our relationship is fun. we go out alot and try new things but there is a part of me that misses the feeling you get when you talk to someone new. over the course of our relationship guys have been hitting on and flirting with me. i am a really outgoing person and i will flirt back. these guys often take that as a hint that im really into them. i love the feeling of getting to know someone new, but its not really about me liking the guy.after a couple of days of me flirting, i hang out with my boyfriend and realize that these guys do not even compare to him. my boyfriend loves me to death and i love him but i cant shake this feeling.i know im young and should be dating lots of people and sometimes i think i should. my friends basically have the same opinion, so whenever i try to talk to them, they always lean me towards breaking it off with my boyfriend. the fact is, my boyfriend was there with me through very hard times and he always takes care of me. i own him and love him so much and hes going through a hard time now and needs me.i feel really guitly like im cheating on him with other guys. maybe im trying to fuck myself over? maybe im not really in love with him? maybe i feel tied down? or maybe this is just something everybody feels and im just a person that acts upon it?i could really use some advise without judgement please :) thank you!
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male
reader, Viajante  +, writes (24 September 2010):
I think you are simply inexperienced and insecure, and there's nothing wrong with that at your age. I advise you to talk about it with more experienced people. Your story isn't at all uncommon. DO talk to your friends, they know you and care for you. Just remember that they are as inexperienced as you are. I know teenagers hate hearing this, but that's simply a fact.
I wouldn't say that you are cheating on your boyfriend, but I will say that you aren't being completely faithful. The best thing for you to do is to look into yourself and ask 2 questions: 1) Why am I with him? and 2) Why am I firting?
I can be totally wrong here, but my guess is that you flirt out of insecurity. Either because you need the ego boost regarding your looks or because you are afraid you are missing out on something by being in a relationship for such a long time.
In the first case (very common with MANY young women), you just have to learn to love yourself (not easy, but important). In the second case, I can tell you that quantity is NOT quality. You can sleep with only 1 person your entire life and be completely happy. The idea of "missing out" because you only dated one guy is kinda bullshit.
Then comes why are you with him? Do you really like him and know what you want from this relationship? Are you just afraid of being alone? Or are you just going with the moment?
In any case, if you decide to stay together with him, it is important to have the space to know yourself and know what you want. Also, put yourself in his position, how would you feel if you found out that he was doing the same thing?
I hope this helps, good luck!
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