A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:How do I know if my bf is just trying to be honest with me, or if hes really bragging and trying to make me jealous?My bf constantly tells me about all these girls who are flirting with him, trying to hook up with him, making moves on him, wanting to have sex with him, being naked in front of him by 'accident', and even touching him so that he gets turned on. And then he will tell me he tells them hes not interested...I feel so hurt when he tells me about all of this. I try to not let it show to him that it upsets me though, because I feel like hes looking for me to be jealous. I can't help but feel he is telling me all of this more then just to be honest- I feel like hes bragging. The look on his face, the tone of voice and the words he speaks make him seem like he feels proud and accomplished of himself because, wow today he had double the amount of girls give him lots of attention! I can see he gets alot of enjoyment out of all these girls and the attention they give him.I feel like I must not be good enough. No matter what I do, its like its never enough, he still has this deep need for attention from all these other girls. Why can't he be content with me?And how do I know if he is really just trying to be honest with me, or if its more then that?I honestly just do not know what to do. When the tables are turned, he acts differently. For example a couple of weeks ago I went to my friends 20th birthday party and my bf was away with work so he didnt come. Anyway, when I got home I talked to him and hes like 'were any guys there? did you meet any?' and he said it in a jealous sort of joking way. He always makes comments like that if I am ever in a situation without a guy. And he asks heaps of questions to the point where I feel like im being questioned for a crime that I did not commit.
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female
reader, bubbloo24  +, writes (14 January 2009):
 Wow. He seems to think he's God's gift to women and I can assure you that this all is probably not true.
It would seem to me that he is very insecure and he feels he needs a reaction out of you so that he knows that you don't want any other girls to have him - so that he feels irresistible to you. His insecurites show through his questioning of whether you met any guys at that party etc. If I were you, when he comes out with things like this, just say "Oh, good for you." and don't pay too much attention to what him. He wants a reaction out of you so don't give him teh satisfaction.
If he continues to do this after you've been ignoring him on a number of occasions, you need to sit him down and say that you don't like the way he talks about seeing other women and that if he continues to do so, he'll lose you for good because it's just not fair. This'll probably shake him up a bit and make him realise that he's being stupid.
Use phrases that begin with " I feel" or " I think" - this is because he can't judge you for feeling a certain way but should you begin your sentences with "YOU HAVE DONE.." "YOU DID...", he'll blame you for accusing him, he'll go into defence mode and all of a sudden you're in the wrong!
Speak to him firmly but don't shout. Just be calm.
If he does get moody and carry on with it, I'd suggest that you leave him.
I can assure you that he is most likely not having women fall all over him, but that he's just wanting a reaction from you. Just remember - He wants a reaction out of you, don't give him the satisfaction.
After you've ignored him for a while, he'll probably realise it has no affect on you and stop it, but if he does continue, then talk to him.
Take care, hun. Don't take his crap.
xx
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