A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Dear cupidim not sure if this is the right place to share my worries but since i have been here before and have gotten relationship advice before i feel this is the best place to speak my heart out. Right now im studying part time and only attend classes in the weekends. I teach tuition in my spare time but since im doing my degree i am focusing on my studies. I have a brother who is 25yrs old and he finished his studies and is jobless at the moment. He stays home all day. Since im home all the time also i find him clinging to my mum alot! Its getting very annoying. He wans to watch movies with her, he wans to follow her everywhere, he wants my mum to be in his room and keep talking to him constantly. I dont get to spend much time with my mum anymore. He's just getting very annoying!Im feeling very anxious and worried because of this. I have never had this feeling and i really hope it will go away because this anxiety is bringing me to the edge.. i cant breath properly sometimes. I feel so irritated thinking about my brother. I wish he is not at home or just finds a job because he's home all the time and is constantly bugging my mum to talk to him or do things with him. Like childish and irritating. What can i do about this? im feeling anxious all the time im at home. My mum is very kind to him and just listens to him which is getting irritating cause hes acting like a baby. Im from a traditional asian family thus we do not move out unless we get married. So its not an option either. Pleasee some one help me :( Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Abella  +, writes (16 February 2013):
 I am wondering if your brother has a illness or a medical condition? Maybe make an appointment with your own Doctor to voice your concerns and find out what are your options?
Because your mother may enjoy being "needed" by her very dependant son. Even though his behaviour is very unusual. So raising the subject first with your mother may not be the best approach to take.
Make an appointment with your Doctor as soon as possible and and find out what would be involved to have your brother assessed medically for a condition that needs treatment.
And look after your own health. Living with a brother behaving in this way would be very unsettling. So protect your own health at all times. even if that means also discussing with your Doctor how your brother's actions affect you.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2013): It seems your brother is perhaps suffering anxiety probloms too. Is it possable that he is feeling bad because he doesn't have a job? I'm in a similar posision and have recently been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder so maybe you should make sure he's feeling okay with everything. Job searching and not succeeding can be stressful. As for you... Maybe you're slightly jelous of the attention that he gets. This is not a bad thing, in fact it's completely normal especially with the stress you must be under with studying. Why don't you try and speak to her (your mum) and tell her you wish to spend more time as mother and daughter (shopping or whatever your into)Hope this helps and good luck.
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A
female
reader, cute angel  +, writes (15 February 2013):
 I understand where your coming from..and its really wierd coming from a 25 year old,may be since he's home all day and bored just wants to spend quality time with your mom!I think first off you should talk to your mom and tell her that now you don't get to talk to her that often since she's spending soo much time with your brother and that you miss her and would love for her to take some time out for you..second you should talk to your dad,tell him your worried about your brothers future and that he should sit him down and discuss what he wants to do in life! Good luck..'Having the 'talk' is the best option for you
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2013): My goodness I thought this had been written by a child instead of a grown man! Basically, how your brother acts isn't really anything to do with you. I agree he is too old to be acting as he is and your mum is doing him no favours by encouraging it, but at the end of the day it's between the two of them to sort out. Just focus on your own life and stop obsessing over their relationship. Ask your mum to do things with you now and again like an adult, instead of having jealous panic attacks because he gets more attention than you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2013): Wow I really wish I could help. But this is something you need to discuss with your mom, letting her know would probably help the situation. She probably understand where your coming from and make time for you
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