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female
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*espair_angel
writes: I've been dating this guy for about a month now, and we've just had our first major argument. When we met we clicked instantly and have spent every possible chance together. He's the only person who I feel truly understands me. I've been hurt by guys in the past and am worried about it happening again but it seems like I’m unintentionally trying to push him away. He has changed my life in every possible way and is like my savior. If feel really bad that I’ve made him angry with me. We didn't even fight over anything in particular; he just said I was being pissy and that he takes enough crap from everyone else and shouldn't have to take it from me. I've tried to apologize and he says it's fine but I just feel like I’ve let him down and I would do anything to get him to forgive me. Any advice on what I should do next?? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, despair_angel +, writes (26 September 2006):
despair_angel is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for all your advice, seems everything is going alright for us now.
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female
reader, Toria +, writes (26 September 2006):
 In every relationship arguements happen its normal and healthy and as you've said you've been together a month and spent every possible moment together so you may just have argued just because you are both feeling the pressure of getting into a relationship and spending so much time with just one person as a month ago you was both pretty free to do what you wanted when you wanted without having to consider another person.
The more you feel the need to keep saying sorry and bringing up the arguement the less chance of getting over it and starting to go back to being all loving together.
He says its okay and I'm sure he wants to forget about it so, so should you.
Good luck :o)
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2006): It sounds as if you are beating yourself up over this,As already been said every relationship has its ups and downs.If he says he is fine about it i would try to accept that and move on from it and consitrate on the future.Also you got to try to remember that you may well of been hurt in the past by guys but that was in the past,you cant judge your new partner with whats happend before.Put everything behind you and think about the good points you have mentioned about him and work on the relationship and making it a happy one. :0)
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2006): As Helen says, every relationship has its ups and downs. You have only known him a month, so are still in the very early getting-to-know-you stage. It will take some time before you learn whether you both really are a good match....why do you think this man is "like my savior" and how could he have "changed my life in every possible way" in such a short time?
You say you have been hurt by guys in the past, but you know, you can't rely on another one to "save" you! YOU have to take some responsibilty for choosing/responding to the sort of men you date - whether you ask them out in the first place, or whether they ask you. Sometimes we get hurt anyway.
As far as this particular argument you had is concerned, the best thing you can do at present is to DROP IT. You say you apologized, and he apparently accepted your apology. Do not focus now on trying to get him to forgive you!!! Its not necessary, and you don't want to stir it up again, or remind him that you upset him, you know?! Just regard it as over and done with (the argument, that is, not the friendship).
In your own mind, however, again, as Helen says, think about what caused you to act the way you did, and if you can get to grips with what made you do it, hopefully, you can prevent it happening again. This part of it is up to you, and no need to discuss it any further with your bf!
Good luck!
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female
reader, Helen1986  +, writes (25 September 2006):
 Hunny every relationship has its ups and downs. It doesnt mean that it is the end! All you have to do is think about what caused the argument and how you can prevent it from happening again.
You have been with this guy a month now so you are probably just coming out of your honey moon period, you have nothing to worry about though. Just reassure your bloke that he is special and you care about him alot. Thank him for everything he has done for you.
I am sure he will be fine though. My personal opinion is as long as you have five good times in your relationship to one bad time, your relationship is perfect. As soon as you start having more bad times then good thats when you have to think whether you are in the right relationship.
Keep your chin up hunny and you will be okay just give him loads of affection and he will be fine.
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