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male
,
anonymous
writes: I'm a middle-aged male whose 2 year affair with a woman at work has recently ended. Both of us were in other long-term relationships, mine is still good but sexually unfulfilling, hers was on and off during our affair largely because I couldn't then commit to leaving my partner for her.We split because of this, her boyfriend forgave her and they have recently married. I still love her, and though I realise I can't now have her back the pain and hurt of seeing her at work every day is driving me mad and making my life miserable. I feel like I want to find someone else for a 'rebound' affair but that doesn't seem a good idea.Any answers please - I'd really appreciate some advice. Steve M.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, shania  +, writes (14 April 2006):
 What did you expect?....Did you think that your lover was going to be your bit on the side forever?...She made it clear that she wanted a proper relationship with you but of course...you didn't want to leave your cosy set up with your long term partner,even though the sex was naff but obviously not that bad to leave her...so what happens? Your lover decided that you didn't want her full time,so she married her boyfriend instead...so it looks like you lost out.Yes,i might sound harsh but you did take the gamble and it backfired on you.Looking for a rebound relationship isn't the real answer...what you should be doing is forgetting about her,or look for another job so you wont keep seeing her all the time,then concentrate on making your other relationship work...if its lacking in the sex department then maybe you should ask yourself on why that is...maybe your partner is bored with you...maybe it has run its course and you should call it a day because what is the point in having one affair after the other if you cannot commit to any of them?....seems like a waste of time to me....now you are paying the price.
A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (14 April 2006):
 Too bad for you. It sucks, doesn't it. It's like lsitening to the criminal to whine about going to jail. Poor baby.
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