A
female
age
36-40,
*ola16182
writes:I need a little relationship advice!Ok so a while ago I broke up with my abusive boyfriend. I'm happy with my decision even though he hasn't accepted it yet. He is still contacting me asking for another chance. At other times he's angry and blackmails me if I don't get back with him he's going to get me fired.The issue? I work with him, and our boss is HIS best friend. Now he works there quite a bit and I'm just casual so I work 1day/wk while going to school so I can arrange my schedule so I don't have to work with him. His boss is a good guy and not immature like my ex. My ex says he doesnt care if I change my schedule he doesnt want me working there. He says he is going to go to his boss/friend and give him an ultimatum of choosing me or him. Although he cant do that legally. But my job is dispensable (just cleaning 1x/wk) so they could eliminate the position and say it was a layoff maybe?2nd problem. There's a guy that works there that I like too. Like the ex and I have been broken up 2 months and he still hasn't accepted it yet. It's a small office (10 people total). I really like this guy and he seems to talk with me quite a bit and make remarks about me being "cute" and that I'm a "really great woman". He is very nice and respectful. I would like to go out with him but I'm afraid of what would happen at work. My ex and him very rarely work together at the same time and they arent friends to begin with anyway. I also think that if somethign happens with this new guy that my ex is going to try to sabotage it. He likes to badmouth me and lie and spread rumours to get back at me. I hope josh wouldnt believe that stuff but my ex is a very convincing liar.What should I do?MODERATOR NOTE: Names have been changed to protect identity.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Jolin  +, writes (11 August 2009):
 i have been on that situation, by the way.. and it was very tough! i know how it feels.
Well..just for an overview..i like a guy in my previous office, and he likes me too. But on the same time, his bestfriend also like me, and tend to be possessive, acting as if i was his girlfriend. We were used to friends, the 3 of us. But later, i started to argue & yell each other to his bestfriend, because i caughted him breaking my locker, and checked what inside my laptop. And from that moment, he spread gossip, to the guy i liked..from the gossip i had been married, divorced, have kids, abortion issue..up to i live with a guy as a mistress!!
At the end i gave up with this situation, cos i saw the guy i like felt sad too..he didn't know what to do cos this man is also his bestfriend.. finally, i argued with the guy i like..as if he "accussed" me that i played with 2 men hearts (himself & his best friend), for God's sake i never like his best friend.
After the argument with him, i resigned from that job..
2 years later, about 3 months ago, i accidently met the guy i like.. now he becomes my boyfriend..and the wicked guy, became the No.1 enemy of my boyfriend for some reasons.
Back to your problem.. i think, first of all..you have to talk to your boss about your problem, since your ex already threaten you that you would get fired because of this. And see the reaction of your boss..hopefully he can see things objectively but..i am kinda doubt it, if they two are still best friends. The 2nd plan is you start to seek a new job..this option is better. Why?
1. you will be 100% free from your abusive ex
2. you can start to know deeper the guy you like. Since you are out of the circle of office hood.
One thing you must believe, when a guy really in love..he will find you, and get you no matter when. It happen to me, and it could be happen to you as well :)
Good luck!
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