A
female
age
41-50,
*lou oog
writes:Well hi there everybody well i am a mother of 3 kids 2 from my prevous marrage and my son is 4 years old; I am in this relationship now for 15 years we were engage about 5 months ago, i broke the engagement becouse I heard that my ex fiance was cheating on me when i was in hospital 4 years ago when I give birth to our son well the problem started about a year ago when my ex said that his friend can come and stay with us well they were doing every thing together I was nothing in his eyes and he was swearing at me and my two daugters they are 17 and 16 years old he doesnt care who is in the room if his friends is there or not he says like we are wh___s sl__s and all the bad things you can think of, well he never asked me in this 15 years to marry him. my kids dont want to see him they say that a father who speaks to their daugters and fiance like that has got no respect. Well me and the kids moved out I told him that its over between us but he don't want to accept it. I met this other guy and he is so wonderful towards me and the kids but my ex said if he caught me with this man he will kill us. I dont know what to do I dont love my ex any more like I used to do. He phones me like 6 times a day to hear where I am I don't know what to do, must I give my ex another change or must I brake it up for good If I give my ex other chance then he will hold this against me.
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fiance, moved out, my ex Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2008): Dear Poster
I have empathy with your situation; I agree with all the other uncles and aunts; you must not even consider taking him back; in fact STOP contact with him;
You can contact the police to lay charges, but even better go to your local Magistrate Court and apply with an interdict(restraining order); your two daughters are old enough to apply as well.
Herewith the telephone number of the HELPLINE for abused women in South Africa; it is a toll free number; do call them, these people are trained to assist people like yourself; not just those presently in abusive relationships, but also those like you who are trying to break free from abuse and who are being threatened.
The toll free number to dial is: 0800 150 150
Herewith also a link to thee site; I am sure it will give you lots of info and can be of great assistance to you.
http://www.stopwomenabusehelpline.org.za/contact_us.htm
I URGE you, be responsible and take good care of yourself and your children; ACT NOW and avoid being another statistic of family violence.
My thoughts are with you; best wishes; lots of hugs and SMILES.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2008): Your ex had his chance and he messed it up! CALL THE LONG ARM OF THE LAW!!! People cannot just go around threatening o kill people. Don't give him the power over your life... cal the police and make sure they take the matter seriously enough to pay him a visit and tell him to back off. Also if the threats continue, get a restraining order. Don't tolerate bullying behaviour! I also strongly believe that the way you respond to abuse will set an example for your daughters. If you accept it now, they will think its ok too...
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A
female
reader, help is on hand  +, writes (6 October 2008):
you should call the police. you should not give him a second chance because he had his chance and he ruined it. your new partner cares for you and you should not let that slip away from you
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (6 October 2008):
Call the police and get them to get home to stop with the threats. When he calls you just hang up, don't even speak to him.Stay with the man who treats you well.Good Luck!! xx
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