A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Okay, I really need help. I have been with my boyfriend for 6 years, about 3 years ago he cheated on me and I decided to stay in the relationship. Well, since he cheated I just lost so much respect for him and he has lost a whole lot of respect for me. He used to be so nice to me that I used to think he was heaven sent. Now for the past 3 years he has been hitting me, and he hits me like I am a man. I can make him mad over the slightest little things I say or do and this is all the time, for example: He wanted his friend to come over so they can play a game of Madden on PlayStation so I asked him could he have his friend come over another time, since it's 4th of July weekend and I have 3 days off work so I just wanted to relax in my home and not have any company this weekend. I stay in a small apartment and I love to walk around in panties and a t-shirt. I just wanted to relax. Well, he went crazy on me. He jumped all around stomping on the ground, he started picking stuff up, throwing it at me and kept telling me I'm just a dumb evil bitch (he said it about 30 times). He went in the basement and kicked in my washing machine. The next day he woke up in the same mood and punched me in my arm like 4 times, then rammed my head in the wall, then I sat down because I was tired from it all, he then came and put his arms around my head like he was hugging it but squeezed it so hard that time he was done I had a massive headache and felt very dizzy. I stay with him because my bills are more than I can handle and I know this sounds crazy, trust me, I know. I have lowered some of my bills and got rid of some things, once I wrote everything out it would leave me with a little over a $100 to do whatever with for the month which is nothing. I have told him to leave millions of times but it all results in more of his angry explosions just cause I asked him to leave. It is my apartment and everything in it I payed for. I hate him so so much. He destroys everything when he is mad and I work so hard for the things I have. I have an Associates and I am working on my bachelors for a social work degree. I only make $10.00 an hour at my current job. Please don't call me dumb because I tell myself that all the time. Can someone please give me advice on how to handle this whole situation (him and the money)?
View related questions:
cheated on me, money Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2010): Hi, You may want to look for a more affordable place - just for the moment. Regardless of the boyfriend, it sounds like you cannot afford it so be kind to yourself and not put yourself through so much stress. Even if you end up in a small place for a while (remind yourself that it is temporary and you doing it as a commitment to work on your goals), it will be yours and no one will be able to harm you, your things or tell you what to do. If it's a smaller place you can make the excuse that it's too small for two. Better yet, tell him to hit the road...I made the mistake of staying too long with someone and it caused me enormous damage. I moved into his home and spent a year and a half renovating it as it was to be our home. When I finally called him on the whole thing, he freaked out and said I was not going to get something for nothing. I did not have quite 50% to give him. He was so hideous I said I would move out and get my own place. He convinced me to stay and I agreed to buy a rental property to flip in a year to get him more money. In the meantime, he became horrifically abusive. I felt I had nowhere to go because my place was rented and he also refused to let me take any of my things. I tried to negotiate with a lunatic to leave but he would threaten me. I had to admit to myself that a good part of the reason I stayed was because I couldn't bring myself to leave what I felt was my home. After a year of this, I became physically ill with cancer and he continued to abuse me. I had to move out 6 weeks after my surgery just to save myself and a few months later lost my job. 1 1/2 years later I'm still getting back on my feet. Best to cut your losses and take good care of yourself! Your relationship with yourself comes first.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2010): Hi,
Don't know if you are still dealing with him and your situation, but the next time he puts a finger on you, call the police and file charges against him. Then go down to the courthouse and file a restraining order. The next time he comes around, you can call the cops and have him picked up again for violating the order. If it's possible, if you have any money saved, pick up and move to another state if possible, and leave no traces so he can't track you down, and move on to your new life. It sounds extreme, but sometimes desperate situations call for desperate measures.
...............................
|
