A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Am i wrong in making my daughter the centre of my universe?I have a 6yr old daughter,she is my only child.I spilt up with her dad just over a year ago.When i was with him he wasn't around much as a partner or a dad,so basically it was just me and her.We did everything together.I guess i was fullfilling a two parent role and over compensating,for the lack of her fathers intrest.Since the split he has become a much better dad and they have a great relationship.He has her over one night a week,and picks her up from school when i work.Tbh i felt maybe my ex felt left out most of the time as me and my daughter were close.For example if i was trying to talk to my ex,she would constantly butt in.I would tell her it was rude to interupt but it made no difference.I felt i was trying to please both my ex and my daughter,but ended up pleasing nonoe,at least myself.I am much happier without my ex as he was contolling and sometimes aggresive.We have a good relationship now though.I have been dating someone new for 6mths.I've taken it slow,as i'm happy with my life.My daughter has met him 5 or 6 times now and each time she clings to and tries to get the attention.I can't seem to have a proper conversation wiyth him,she just won't allow it.So i see him mainly without her.It could get quite serious with my new man,and want my daughter to have a good relationship with him,but don't know how to go foward on this.I constatly reasure her i love her more than anyone in the world and she will always be my nu1 prority.I feel her behaviour is down to me as i have given her all my attention for so long,she doesn't want to share me.Can anyone help?
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female
reader, summerslady21  +, writes (8 June 2009):
Been there done that... But my daughters are now 3 and 4! Their dad has nothing to do with them so its alittle easier. the new bf did things with them! When we were at my house he took them in the back yard and they would play mostly in the mud. He would take about 1 hour before bed time to focus on theM and we also did things together. After awhile they saw he wasn't taking mommy from them he wanted us all! Not too long after he started spending time with them they realized it was ok and it would always be the 5 of us. They now call him daddy and we live together and are wonderful! With her being 6 you and your bf could maybe try taking her on a picnic and have them play a game on getting to know each other. Maybe if she sees he is interested is knowing her she will be ok with him being a part of you both! Good luck and I hope I helped.
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