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female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: Did I overreact and jump to a gross conclusion ? my boyfriend is 47 I am 31 we have dated for six moths I recently dumped him for texting with his best friends 15 year old daughter but let me give you some background. We having been dating for 6 months and he asked me to move in says he loves me excetra , we had a break in between over him talking to other women behind my back and it upset me so bad I ended up in the hospital over it . I suffer from bipolar depression and tried to take my life stupidly , anyways I took him back .. Another bad issue we have is that his best friend of 25 years who is a women refuses to meet me and I don't know why . Anyways this is her daughter that he text with and I wouldn't have thought to much over it except he told me this girl was molested by her father and that he thinks it's cute that she has a crush on him ( my boyfriend that is) I told my boyfriend that I think him texting with a 15 year old exspeacially one with these issues was inappropriate and why he did this ? What could they possibly have to talk about ? And he SCREAMED she is my friend ! I told him that was sick he is 47 and I would not tolerate that and never to contact me again I was tired of his dysfunctional relationship with his BFF and her daughter . Did I overreact ? Am I the only one that thinks this is perverted ??? Thanks for reading and input , I am really confused and concered . Am I acting too jealous of a 15 year old and her mother ? I also recently found porn , naked pictures of exes and his penis on his daughters computer that she easily could have clicked on his user name and saw.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2015): sounds like a big red flag if he has sexual feelings for a 15-year old
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2015): Wow it has all the signals of an abuser . Yes I would report him . I think the only way your bipolar comes into this is that it has caused you to question your judgement but believe me , your I instinct sounds spot on. Take it from someone who was abused as a young teen , this is NOT right , regardless of any excuse . He has no business messing with a teen who has been abused
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (21 July 2015):
 Your judgement is correct trust it and run away from this guy. I'm very very VERY tolerant and forgiving of humans way more than I should be. In this case red flags abound on so many levels I could not even begin to cope with this mess.
I think your radar is accurate. His behavior is creepy and his overreaction is telling.
The fact that his BFF is the mother of this child and won't meet you is also very telling. I sense a very inappropriate probably severely co-dependent relationship between the two of them.
Do not let this man who is probably a master manipulator guilt or bully you into staying with him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2015): Hi I'm the poster of this question but didn't want to sign up. I wanted to thank everyone for the advice and giving me the reassurance that I needed . I have very low self esteem and weak boundaries myself so this may have made me a easy target for my ex. Thanks for your concern about therapy Honeypie , I do see a therapist for my depression and am working on me . I also wanted to say to Username Notsohappy that I can see and agree he has some grooming tactics and though I do not know if he is abusing this young girl , I do know that when they chat it is as if they are both teenagers her complaining about friends and trashing them and him agreeing with her . A few weeks before we broke up he was gossiping to me about how another 15 year old was acting like a "Little B word" I feel a grown man should stay out of children's fighting and agree it would be ok to give fatherly advice but not play into teenager drama. He also sort of bragged about this girl having a crush on him so all in all yes you are right definite red flags. I am definatly looking into reporting him , The girls Mother thinks my ex is a God or something and hates me though we have never met so I found a hotline number to do it anonymously . I'm just afraid he will know it was me , he already tells everybody I'm crazy for being Bipolar and don't want trouble but I definatly think at least this girls father should be reported for child abuse. Anyways I plan on doing something about it but in the proper way, and thanks again for all the reassurance This man had me feeling like a lunatic . It still hurts now but in time I will get better . Thanks all
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (19 July 2015):
 EWW - That is not only creepy it's kind of scary, because he KNOWS this girl doesn't HAVE the normal boundaries most 15 year old would, yet he is sucking up all that attention he can get from her.. Freaking sicko.
Just dump him and walk away. Though I would be VERY tempted to contact the mother of this girl and let her know.
He is... a DIRTY old man who lacks boundaries and NOT someone you need in your life.
YOU on the other hand, NEED to focus on your health/mental health. Are you getting help managing your bipolar? If not, I think you should start there. CUT this guy 100% out of your life and don't look back.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2015): He makes my flesh crawl. You have done the right thing. You cannot trust him. Keep him out of your life.....
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2015): This lousy bit of low life has no place in your life. You can kick him to the kerb as hard as you like.Also drop a word to social services that the girls father allegedly abused her, tell them you have concerns that your now ex-boyfriend's friendship with a fifteen year old. He is a creep.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2015): He sounds like an absolute creep. You would be better off staying away from him. There are plenty of nice guys in the world but this guy doesnt seem like one of them. Especially seeing as he had been seeing other women behind your back beforeNo you were absolutely correct
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