A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:First of all lemme explain a few things before I ask I've always liked men and women (bisexual) but always tend to lean on the straight side rather than gay, I actually always said I would never be with a man. However one particular guy has changed my mind and I can't shake him off. Anyway there's this guy I see him on a mutual friends Facebook and instantly felt we should be together (I was with my now ex girlfriend then) I've spoke to this guy once or twice but being nosey I found out we have a lot in common. After finding out mutual interests I started thinking about him a lot and now I contanstantly think about him. If I was to be with him I'm not worried about telling friends or family or anything like that but I'd have to trial it first. Anyway the problem is how do I get him to start talking to me or add me on social media so he can discover how much we have in common without outting myself to anyone He has just gotten back with his ex boyfriend who I despise, but want to connect with him for next time they break up permantently.
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2015): Hi. Doesn't sound like you actually know him to be having such strong emotions towards him? Met a couple of times after seeing him on fb .. And I find it concerning that you have gone to such lengths to find out his interests to compare them with yours etc.....you wont like this- I wouldn't if someone was saying it to me, but it feels a little obsessional in a way, and not too healthy. Its a little like you've got thinks planned out- hanging about waiting for his relationship to end...you despise his current partner etc. Is this how you would normally act when you like the look of someone? Start planning trials etc....i find what you've written a tad unhealthy - he knows nothing of this and u r planning a life with him!
A
female
reader, smeedle +, writes (25 July 2015):
 Slow down cowboy, time to take stock here. You like him but he has not shown any interest in you, you are bisexual and he is gay so its a good chance that he doesn't even realise you are interested in men let alone him.
you are already picturing you both as an item in the near future, so much so that you are sitting on the fence watching and waiting for his current lover to fall off it so you can jump right in and take his place - you maybe waiting around and dreaming of something that just may not happen as they may never break up, he may not fancy you or you just get cold feet when it comes down to revealing your relationship to family and friends.
he may not want to "trial" it first if it does transpire that he fancies you too, as he is by the sound of it, openly gay but then again he may understand your reservations and play along for awhile, who knows!!
If you still want to go ahead then can you not just ask to be his friend on Facebook, surely he has lots of straight blokes as friends and you do know his friends so no one would think about that too much. Or you could be very brave and send him a personal message saying you like him a lot and would like to get to know him better.
Good luck :)
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