A
female
age
36-40,
*essedupbigtime
writes:my x R and i were recently on a break. well during this "break" i should have continued to be faithful but i wasnt. i had a one night stand and i am currently 5 1/2 months pregnant. as soon as i became aware of the fact that i was pregnant i told my ex R and the father M. my ex R says he can never be with me again, but he forgives me. the father M, i could care less about him, he has taken no interest in my pregnancy at all. oh well, i'm fine with being a single mom. but my real question is, how do i get my ex R to take me back? i love him more than anything but he says he cant be with me ever because i am carrying another mans child. i feel so ashamed of what i have done and i just want him back. how do i regain his trust? i have told him that i dont want him here to raise my child, i want him around for me because i love him. please if anyone can give me some advice, it would be greatly appreciated.
View related questions:
a break, my ex, one night stand Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2007): I hate to start talking about something so controversial, but it's time to point out the obvious: Abort the baby. (Or at least give it up for adoption when it's born.)
Everyone acts like reproducton can't be controlled. Being in the 21st century means you have options. If you don't like the options then that's unfortunate, but that doesn't mean you don't have the options.
Birth control methods, morning-after pills, etc. These problems are 100% preventable without cutting down on the sexual activity at all.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2007): Girls like you don't deserve to have babies. I had a friend who did the same thing as you but instead of telling him the truth she made him believe it was his. anyway he's still with her and still believes the baby is his. why would you allow yourself to bring a child into the world only a little wanted there was no excuse for what you done and its not your ex's problem that you will need the support. Maybe next time you might use whats called a CONDOM or just keep ya legs closed!!!!!!!!
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2007): "Meant to sleep with the other guy"? Are you freaking kidding me?I have a close female relative who was repeatedly raped by a stepgrandfather when she was 11 and 12; raped at 17 by a "boyfriend" who had essentially glommed onto her and wouldn't go away, and got pregnant; then raped and beaten (documented, with physical proof) by her husband when she was an adult. Were those things meant to happen too? I do believe the children that came out of three of those incidents were meant to be here, but if you believe in a merciful God, you canNOT believe that rapes and beatings are meant to happen.Please. A one-night stand isn't "meant to happen"; it the result of selfishness and immaturity and a culture of complete self-indulgence. Call it what it is. Doesn't mean anybody's unforgivable, or that other people haven't done bad things too. But to act like it's all part of some "plan," attributing this to God or "something that's meant to happen," or whatever, is symptomatic of what's wrong in our culture at large, particularly in sexual matters.
...............................
A
female
reader, messedupbigtime +, writes (12 September 2007):
messedupbigtime is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni really appreciate all of your opinions. i think everything you all have said are things i know, i'm just afraid to admit the fact that i will never have him back. you all are so great. thank you again/
...............................
A
female
reader, brooke5426  +, writes (12 September 2007):
 i dont think there is anything more you can do. you have explained your feelings to him, and explained you love him and why you want to be with him - not because you dont want to be a single mum but because you love him.
its up to him what happens now. i think that he is very hurt to know you are carrying another mans baby, not that he doesnt love you. he said he has forgiven you, that tells me he still thinks of you fondly but unfortunately a baby is a big big thing and if he is not comfortable with you having a baby with another man (even though the guy is not around) there is nothing you can do to make him comfortable with that.
remember that everything happens for a reason, and it is all down to fate. you were meant to go on that break. you were meant to sleep with the other guy and you were meant to be having this baby. so try not to focus too much on changing his mind and just concentrate on your baby, and know that everything is happening EXACTLY as it is meant to.
good luck xx
...............................
A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (12 September 2007):
 One thing women should realize is this. Be careful !! When you decide to have sex with a man and a pregnancy results, there is only one certain thing. The certainty is this....the morning after sex, should a pregnancy happen, you can only guarantee the where abouts of one parent. Of course that would be the mother.
How long was the break from your boyfriend? If it was short, I can understand his unhappiness. Although technically, you were entitled to do as you pleased, this is the consequence. Let him go. There will be another man who has no ax to grind. Your old boyfriend is upset because of what went on in his absence and jealous of the fact you enjoyed yourself with another man. He feels like..." I turned my back for amoment and look what she did"...Right or wrong, that is how he feels.
...............................
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (12 September 2007):
 Well there is not much you can do at this point. He doesn't want to be with you. Time to focus on the baby and his/her arrival. You can cling to the hope that he will change his mind but I think I would just move on. With a baby coming you have lots to do and staying busy will help you with the heartache. I hope you won't feel that this new life is a "mistake" but rather a very special blessing. Good luck.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2007): Well huni know your upset about your mistakeif you really like him you have to chose from your kid or ythe man of your dreamsThats lifeim sorryi know how painful this must be for you.xx.
...............................
|
