A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I don't know how to deal with this. I'm still dumbfounded. How could just a small fight resulting to my fiance and me ending our engagement. We are only 8 months away. I love him so much. I hate my mouth. I said things out of angry which I don't mean and now he doesn't want me back. I tried making things better. All he said was he wanted space. Until yesterday, he said that he misses me. So I tried to tell him that we can work things out. As the problem lies with us. Especially me. He told me he wanted out. I think everything is too late to save. We've been friends for 8 years. In a relationship for 4 years and engaged for 2 years.I just can't believe this has happened. How do i go about grieving? I really wished things can still be worked out... :(
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2015): Yeah I get it now. I messed things up big time. It's hormonal. During the time of the month I will get crazy angry and I can't control. I guess part of it was because I had an abortion which I didn't actually want to do but we had to because we are not financially stable. Thought it's been 3 years. I can seem to shake that incident off. But I get it now. I'll have to move on with my life. There's nothing that I can save now. Thanks all for your advices.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2015): I was engaged to someone who was verbally abusive. He would say mean stuff just to provoke a reaction sometimes. Eventually I gave up on him and walked as it was clear he had zero respect for me in reality. He always told me the abuse was my fault.
If you have been deliberately hurting him, provoking him, to make him feel bad or worse about something or himself then he may too have reached his "enough" point. It sounds like you fight "dirty"? My ex always lost it and blew his top and called me the most horrible names, then gave me the silent treatment for days, not answering his door, phone or email, blocking me on FB and then a few days later acting as if I should treat his apology like gold dust. Eventually it got to the point where, no matter how much I did love him, I realised he was actually a very volatile, insecure and selfish, angry person and I could never make him see how his actions hurt me and I ended it. I did exactly what he used to do to me, the silent treatment. Except my silent treatment has gone on for one year now and he STILL tries to get me to talk to him.
It could well be that your ex has had enough. Get some advice, maybe talk to a counsellor. Do you get angry easily? Or is your anger due to unresolved issues between you both? Has he cheated or hurt you in the past and deep down you never forgave him? Is it possibly hormonal? My hormones can really get the better of me at certain times in my cycle! Try to figure out what is REALLY at the bottom of your behaviour.
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2015): IF he TRULY LOVES YOU, he will come back when he is ready.
Hang in.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2015): I think he had enough.
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A
male
reader, BigCuz  +, writes (10 January 2015):
Control your mouth, obviously he was/is sick of it, billions of people versus your mouth, billions of people win, get engaged, get married, doesn't matter, obviously you been taking it too far too long, Nobody wants to be disrespected and see no end in sight, you messed up
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