A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi everybody, I have been engaged for 16 years and every year I ask my fiance when will we get married and his answer is always one day well. This past year he just doesn't want to do any thing with the family, he always comes home after work and sits in front of the TV and there he falls asleep, me and the kids must do everything, bring his food to him, take his plate and he is overweight so he just doesn't want to do nothing, even our sex life is not the same. One time I bought some nice lingerie and I stood in front of him and he said it's not the right time. He is verbally abusive towards me and the kids too. Well I miss that loving feeling I miss those words that say you look pretty, not you look like a whore!About 6 months ago I met this guy and he made me feel like a woman. He knows what is going on in my life. He even said that I don't deserve this life that I am in now because my fiance treats me like a maid. I broke my engagement and I moved out I got a flat and I told my ex that I need some time because I am confused and that the love that I had for him is not there any more, (he even cheated with my best friend about 4 years ago. I asked him about it and he said it's not true. But he said it to somebody when he was drunk and this person new about it almost 2 years but he only told me about it 7 months ago.) I see my ex fiance like every day and we are fighting most of the time. And he knows about this other guy. He is making all of these accusations and threats and said He will not allow me to be with another man. He wants to now my every move, if I am going to town he wants to know where and when so he can come and check on me. So in other words he doesn't trust me. I am asking - Must I move back home to a man that can not trust me and who is verbally abusive and make all these threats or must I move on with my own life. please help me. I don't now what to do.
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best friend, drunk, engaged, fiance, move on, moved out, my ex, overweight, sex life Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2008): Dear Poster
You have received good advice from the other uncles and aunts; I just want to add a little info that might be of assistance to you.
Herewith a link to the stop women abuse helpline in South Africa; Remember these people are trained to deal with situations like yours.
http://www.stopwomenabusehelpline.org.za/contact_us.htm
or you can call them toll free in South Africa by dailling: 0800 150 150
Please do not even consider going back to your abusive ex; call the HELPLINE for guidance and advice; please act now and avoid becoming a statistic of Family violence.
I URGE you read the info on this link and contact them. For your own but also your children's sake.
Best wishes and remember to keep SMILING.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2008): The only best way is to go to the police and get a restraining order against him, and forget about him move on cause there is someone who loves you,so why worry about an abusive man.you dont deserve that even your kids don't deserve that kind of a abuse, if your new boyfriend loves your kids and you then you`ve got nothing to lose, you also need to be treated like a queen not a slave.Good luck on every decision that you are going to make but think about your kids and your happiness.........
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