A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey, i am 14 and my mum keeps me in all the time. She won't let me go out to any of my freinds house or sleep over, she wont even let me stay at my best mates house when she know's we both won't do anything bad. Then when people come round she always brings up stuff like " OH SHE NEVER GOES OUT " and its really embarrasing as it's in front of all my brothers mates and aunties and uncles, i want her to let me go because i can't take it no more its really anoying she exspects me to stay in over the 6 weeks holidays..what should i do? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Butterflyfly +, writes (28 July 2007):
 try to talk to her about it.. dont get defensive just tell her how upset this makes you and how weird it's gonna be for you when you do eventually get out not to be able to have friends, be part of a good group, learn from other people, how isolated you feel.and ask her not to assume that all is bad out there, and you will ruin your life if you go out. my mum was the same and now she regrets my sis ran away with a man that messed her up. mum says now she regrets not listening to what we had when we were teenagers.
xxx
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 July 2007): I'm 22 and it is still happening. Do something to change it while you still can
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThankss Hunnies 3Yoor All Really GreatLOve YoO xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2007): My mum was exactly the same. The only thing you can really do is talk to her about it. Explain to her that it's making you upset that you're missing out on fun that you could be having with your friends. You're young and you should be able to go and have a good time, not be stuck in the house wasting time that you're never going to be able to get back.Don't decide to rebel and go out without her permission, trust me, it's the worst thing you can do. She won't trust you or respect you so the best thing to do is have a relaxed, mature chat.Good luckxxxxxx
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A
female
reader, DIE-romantic. +, writes (22 July 2007):
 Wow, me and my mom are always going through this! She does let me out although she tries her hardest to keep me in, and uses those words too 'i never go out anywhere' and i tell her over and over again, there's nothing stopping her going out herself and meeting up with her friends. I completely understand. I have talked to her before about it, and she eased off abit. Try it.Hope it works for you.
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A
male
reader, toocomplicated  +, writes (22 July 2007):
It sounds like she's trying to protect you but not in a mean way. First, you might consider that side of it, that she cares about you and doesn't want anything bad to happen to you because you are still very young. On the other side, 14 is when you start to do some things on your own so you might start to talk with her like an adult. I would ask her "Mom, why won't you let me go out?" Depending on what she says you might say "Well, I know you're looking out for me and I appreciate it, but I think I'm ready to do some things alone and I'd like to try it out with you." That way it's like an agreement that if you stay out of trouble you'll both be happy.
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A
female
reader, YummyMummy +, writes (22 July 2007):
 I would sit down and talk with her. Explain she cant complain you never go out when you want to and ask her to go out.
xxxxxx
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A
female
reader, 88jane +, writes (22 July 2007):
 your mum obviously cares about you and wants to protect you but maybe she is smothering you too much! have you done anything in the past to break your mums trust and give her reason to worry about you or do you live in a dodgy area where its not safe for a teenage girl to be out all the time?
you need to talk to your mum and tell her that you feel trapped and you need a life of your own! but dont resort to shouting or arguing, you need to have a proper adult conversation. she sounds as though she doesnt have much trust so you need to work hard to prove that you are trustworthy and hopefully things will improve for you!
good luck hun!
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